Tempus

Bleak (Part II)

It's been almost 4 weeks since I last heard from Bea. It's 9 in the evening and I am currently in my room playing with my dog trying to make my mind occupied because I still remember vividly the night I accompanied Dani and Jules to celebrate their championship in Early Night.

It was already 1:30 and the crowd is getting wilder and louder. Everywhere I look there's someone pouring vodka to their friend's mouth. 'Kids' I thought. I distanced myself from Kat because she's forcing everyone around her to take a shot and im not drinking tonight. I went to the corner and Jarvey noticed me. He came to me and invited me to sit on their table while pointing there. But when I looked at where he's pointing I saw Bea, sitting beside AJ dancing along the loud music, and laughing. I told Jarvey i'll follow him na lang after ko magbanyo. I quickly changed direction then I saw Kuya Mikko resting near the DJ booth he called me tapping the space beside him.

"No training tomorrow? Kamusta?" Mikko said when i stood beside him

"Afternoon pa. S'all good naman graduate nako next week" I told him feeling really pleased of that achievement

"Ayee nice one!! I'm proud of you Thirdy you've come a long way" Mikko replied while shaking me

"Right?? At dahil dyan ilibre mo ako" I teased him

"Sure okay! I'll get you a shot" Mikko said and was about to call the staff but I stopped him

"Not tonight ipagddrive ko si Dani" I explained and he just chuckled. We spent the next few minutes people watching. Looking at these crazy college kids having the time of their lives. I was looking at Dani chugging her drink when Kuya Mikko spoke again.

"Bacon showed me you know" He said in a serious tone.

I didn't get what he was saying so I asked "Showed you what?"

"You and Bea sa GGV trailer" he replied looking at me

"Aaah" was all that I can say

"Diba tonight yun?" He asked

"Yes, I think" I answered

"So you're courting her?" He asked again

"No" I said while tilting me head to him

"What happened to 'shoot your shot' i thought you're two were just waiting for her season to end?" Mikko asked me getting confused

"I don't know, Parang everything fell apart. Hirap iexplain" I said as I bit my lower lip

"Kaya pala she arrived with AJ, I thought nga na di ka pupunta eh" Mikko said with a concerned tone

"I dont know what's up with them if that's what you're gonna ask" I said and I chuckled bitterly

Kuya Mikko got that I dont want to talk about it so he just shook his head.

Why does forgetting require more effort than remembering? I wanted to forget everything that I saw and felt at that moment but I can't bury them at the back of my mind. I wanted to forget the feeling when the love of your life doesn't care for you anymore. Because honestly, I don't think I can take the pain anymore. I stood up grabbed my keys and decided to blow off some steam and drive around. 

An hour later I found myself in Javi's himlayan. I wiped off the dust on his name and stared at his Polaroid picture. Life has been a little dull since you left bro I thought as a held the blue ribbon attached to his name. I let out a deep sigh when i felt my phone vibrate. I checked it then I saw a message from Dani, asking me where I went. I typed a short reply to her then put my phone on airplane mode.