R O O M 1 9 7 // Harry Styles & Louis Tomlinson Edition

Twenty-One

~Sunday 8th January 2017~

07:53 am

Harry lies awake staring up at the ceiling, silent and still - a thousand and one thoughts swarming and buzzing and grinding inside his head, like angry little wasps. It's his first day living with his decision to cut out alcohol and he cannot help but feel uneasy about this new battle he has to fight. He's wide awake, so early in the morning, waiting for his alarm clock to ring, with his laptop still laying open beside him on the mattress. He spent all of last night searching online for new jobs, to no avail. Purple bruise-like bags lay under his green eyes, as his alarm clock finally rings. Harry swings himself out of bed, and makes his way to the bathroom to shower.
Twenty minutes later, Harry is ready for the day, dressed in his uniform, with neatly-combed hair and minty-fresh breath. He sits on his couch, watching the hand of the clock tick by slowly, as he waits for Harrison to arrive. He's tired - undoubtedly so - but his aching head keeps his eyes wide open and focused on the slow clock hand. After sitting for more than twenty-five minutes, he decides to wait downstairs instead, standing on the sidewalk, the cold air harsh against his freshly-shaven face.

"Good morning, buddy." Harrison says calmly, as Harry climbs into the passenger seat beside him, pulling his seat belt across his chest. Harry smiles across at the sweet man, as he pulls away from Harry's apartment building. "Boss has been worried about you. Said you walked off." Harrison adds, as they pull up to a red traffic light, looking over at Harry with a supportive smile pushed into the shape of his lips.
"I hope he didn't take it personally." Harry responds, fearing Louis' reaction to yesterday's events, hoping that he hasn't hurt him in any way. The guilt of job searching last night, weighs heavy on Harry's broad shoulders. "I felt sick...so went home." Harry lies, hating the sensation that lying to such a kind friend brings him. He doesn't want to lie, but he cannot tell Louis that Mr Peckham knows about their...thing. The anger attacks that would drown Louis after finding out, is not worth the pain or struggle. Louis deserves the peace of mind, believing that everything is fine.

So, when Harrison arrives at The Magnolia not long after, Harry places the invisible mask of 'just fine' against his face and steps into the building, avoiding Mr Peckham's raging glare as he goes. He has no plan as he steps out of the elevator onto his floor, unsure how to act or what to say.
Distant and cold, pushing Louis away, before they are inevitably torn apart anyway in a few short months? Or calm and affectionate, as they have been, allowing Louis - and himself - these last spare weeks to indulge in their weaknesses for each other? Harry gives himself no time to decide, before he knocks on the door of Room 197, setting off rushed footsteps.

"Harry." Louis sighs, as if in relief, as he swings the door open, pulling Harry inside. "I've been so worried about you." He adds, as Harry remains silent. Louis is barely dressed, his suit trousers tight around his waist, his torso bare of any clothing. The curtains are still half closed across the tall windows, and Louis' e-mails are open on his laptop, despite the fact none of them have been read yet. Louis sighs again, letting out a deep breath, as he closes the door behind Harry and turns to him, a tight smile on his lips.
"God, Harry." He exhales, as he approaches the young boy, placing both his hands upon his chest. Harry's heart beats fast, thrumming against Louis' palm, as he looks up into Harry's eyes, shaking his head slowly. "Don't scare me like that again. I thought you were leaving me...because of the whole baby thing." Louis adds, pulling Harry by the back of his neck, hugging him close, his hands tight against the fabric of Harry's uniform. Harry has never felt more guilty than right now, as he wraps his arms around Louis slowly, reciprocating the soothing gesture, holding him tight against his hammering chest.

Tears swell inside Harry's eyelids, and as Louis leans back, looking at Harry once more, a stray drop escapes, rolling down his cheek, cold and heavy. Louis' relieved grin is replaced with an expression of pure distress, as he witnesses the tear falling, moving his thumb to Harry's cheek and brushing it away, stroking the skin underneath as he does so.
"What's wrong?" Louis asks, resting his hands upon Harry's face, as they stand alone in the middle of this dimly-lit room. Harry's chest heaves, as he inhales and exhales deeply, struggling to keep afloat as fear and anxiety roll through his body in large surges.
"Everything." Harry whispers, his arms heavy at his side, as it overcomes him, suffocating him, drowning him. He comes to the surface briefly, a wash of calm brushing past him, as Louis grabs him by the face and forces him to make eye contact, their blue and green meeting for a split second, before Harry looks away, guilt and fear and frustration building up inside him - a lethal mix.

Louis refuses to let Harry suffer alone, and if he will not tell him what's wrong, then Louis will comfort Harry in the only way he knows how. Harry avoids Louis' gaze, looking down at the floor in shame, but Louis pulls him by his chin, making eye contact again - the ultimate display of '...I'm here for you...' Louis pauses for a moment, sending a reassuring half-smile in Harry's direction, before bringing his face down to meet his own, pressing his lips against Harry's.
The embrace is soft and slow, but full of need, as they kiss, words no longer necessary. Harry's lips are hard and wet with tears, the taste of salt lingering upon them, as Louis tightens his grip around Harry's collar, and Harry's hands find their way to the back of Louis' head, pulling gently at the wild hairs that live there.
Harry takes Louis' bottom lip inbetween his teeth, finding satisfaction in the breathy moan that escapes through Louis' mouth, before he feels Louis' hurried fingertips atop the buttons of his shirt. Louis takes the lead undressing his counterpart, pulling at the rough belt that lays along Harry's hips, pushing him through the tall archway that leads to the bedroom.

Mrs Tomlinson's big announcement is still fresh and raw in their heads, the uncertainty and the shock washing through them in long, wide waves. The uncertainty of everything stacking up against the both of them - together and separately - is the gigantic elephant in the room, the sharp and tense atmosphere that seeps through the room like a thick fog, clouding their vision.
They do not speak of E's pregnancy or Louis' impending fatherhood. Harry does not mention the loss of his job or his alcoholism. They ignore the fact, staring them right in the face, that this will never last beyond a few months.

Unwilling and afraid to speak of their individual and shared problems, both Harry and Louis remain ignorant to the painful truth, ignoring the inevitable future, avoiding the oncoming hurdles in this long and bumpy road...

Chapter Image by @nsfwspouses on Instagram