Out of my Mind // A Brendon Urie Fanfiction

the end

"We don't have rings. Could you use this one?"

"Of course, hun." She gently guides me forward.

I hear the music coming out from the closed chapel doors. One step. Two step. The door opens.

The aisle is covered in white pedals, but as I look up and lock eyes with the man who is soon to be my husband, it's like I don't even care. I float over to him, my dress dragging on the floor, picking up petals and dust.

Tears well up in my eyes and I can tell Brendon's do too by the extra gloss over them. He holds his hand out to me and immediately I take his soft palm into mine, interlocking our hands in front of each other.

This is love in the purest form. In a way I've never felt it. He has never looked more like himself than he does in this moment, and I have never felt more comfortable in my own skin. I feel a warmth inside of me. I don't ever want to lose this feeling. Not in a million years.

"Beautiful," Brendon mouths while looking me in the eyes.

The officiator starts talking, introducing the ceremony, but it sounds like I lost my hearing. I think I black out until he says,

"Now Brendon and Courtney please join hands and face each other.

Brendon, do you take this woman to be your wife?"

Brendon grins widely and I bite the inside of my lip until he says the words that I have been longing for.

"I do."

"Courtney, do you take this man to be your husband?" I nod, chills running up and down my back.

"I do." It's like every weight I have ever carried tips off of my shoulders, falling straight through the chapel floor.

"Love is a beautiful thing and we see it every day here in this chapel. We give every couple the choice to express that love through their personal vows or to recite the ones we have for you." And the nerves come back. My heart races, my palms start to sweat. He looks to Brendon, who nods and clears his throat to speak.

"Courtney, I uh.. I don't know how to say how you make me feel. It's kinda frustrating." He laughs, looking down at the carpet and scowling. "I didn't expect this at all; you and me. But you're the best thing I've done- oh shit- I didn't mean it like that." I rub circles into his hands and smile at him, encouraging him to talk through the nerves he's obviously feeling.

"I love you like I've never loved anything before. You make me better. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. We've got work to do, more importantly, I've got work to do. But I can't imagine working on it with anyone else but you." I sigh out of relief and then realize that it's my turn to say something. I rack my scattered brain until the silence is too much. I just blurt the first thing that pops up into my head.

"I love you. With every single fiber of my being. You saved me from a place I didn't know I could be saved from and I can't even begin to show you how grateful I am for that. I know there are hills we still have to climb over, but I want to walk every step with you. You've shown me.." Shit. Stop crying. "You-" I spit the word out but stop talking in hopes that it will help the lump in my throat go away.

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything else."

"No." I clear my throat and talk through the tears as best as I can,"you showed me love when no one else did. I didn't even know someone could love me the way you do. I thought I was going to be alone. But you came, and thank god you did, because you are the best god damn thing that has ever happened to me." His eyes don't look away from mine for even a second.

After another moment of silence, the officiator begins again. And this time I hear him, loud and clear. 

"These rings are a symbol of the eternity that you will spend together. A perfect circle that never ends. We wear them to show the world that we have chosen our perfect person; someone that we have promised to love and trust, through our weakest and highest points of life. When we put these rings on, we are not committing to becoming perfect, but we are striving to thrive together. Individual flaws, mistakes, and sorrows will be shared as you become each other's equal partner." Gillian hands Brendon the ring he gave me not too long ago. He slides it onto my finger. It fits the same as it did fifteen minutes ago, but somehow it fits me better.

"By the power vested in me by the state of Nevada, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride. Congratulations!"

Brendon dips me down and firmly presses his soft lips to mine, solidifying the promise we made to each other forever. He hoists us both up and smiles, his eyes radiant, his smile intoxicating and contagious. 

"I love you, Courtney Urie."