Things Nadir N̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ Said | [MUSLIM]

XIV

My memory of our wedding night is one of the most beautiful ones I've ever made, and yet it brings a funny feeling every time I think of it.

We were both so happy; both so shy.  But as much as it would agree with me to just have sat there staring at her, unspeaking, it was imperative that we talk.

To my relief, at some point she had decidedly taken the steering wheel - started asking me questions, and then answering them herself. I've always believed that this was one of the chief reasons why I couldn't really imagine life without her — since the very start, she knew what I missed, and then became it. So that I barely felt lacking; so that together, we were a perfect whole.

That night she'd asked me randomly, after some minutes of discussing our hobbies, if I had any irrational fears.

My first instinct was to mutter small talk, but I decided that when choosing amongst two stupid fears, one should go with the one that would make the situation funny, rather than the one that would make his wife pity him.

I could still hear her laugh.

"Ties?" she'd giggled — the sweetest sound in the world, when a shy girl makes it. "What's so scary about them?"

"Uncanny, I know. Probab-bly has t-to do with some paranoia about get-getting choked."

"Awh, that's too bad," she'd said after a moment. "I used to like ties."

At that, I remember having smiled for so long that she had panicked and asked me if she'd offended me.

Instead of answering, I had kissed her hand. My heart was drumming in my chest, with happiness and gratitude.

At Sami's party, to my horror, there seemed to be more ties around me than there was food. And there was food everywhere.

The first thing I knew after having gotten us there was that this was not just a place that Sami had bought about a week ago — it couldn't be! The place was as clean as it could be, partially furnished, and decorated in such a way as you'd decorate your home when you expect to accommodate some Minister as a guest...or the Queen.

Not that the people that surrounded us now didn't look like important people.

I had already expected that Sami's acquaintances, if any of them lived here, would be business big shots. But I had scarcely visualised myself being in this sort of upmarket gathering.

I had never felt more out of place.

Most of the crowd comprised men in suits, and a few women sporting elegant dresses and tight hairdos. There was alcohol, flirting and dancing.

It looked like their sophisticated half-smiles were bought from designer boutiques. The soft, hushed way in which they spoke, the unconcerned glances they threw around every few seconds, their slow and graceful movements all seemed to be screaming, I have a whole lot of money, and I take pleasure in letting it show.

Not even the music fit my accord.

We stood there awkwardly. I was way too conscious about my ordinary trousers and shirt to think of much else. Sami did not notice our presence for a little while after we'd reached. But then he did, and he hardly left us alone after that. Like most of our meetings, he talked to Zaeb and avoided addressing me directly for the most part, which did not upset me much at all.

While the extravagant food did not agree with me, Zaeb seemed to really fancy it. My mind drifted back to Mishal and Mustafa often, but I didn't imagine that was the case for her. She trusted Arij a whole lot.

At some point, the people started to leave. I didn't wonder why until I realised that there were just a few people left - us, Fahad, the hired servers, and Sami himself. That was when I considered the idea that the dinner was just for a select few people of many.

We talked of irrelevant things for the most part. He asked why we didn't bring the kids, and Zaeb laughed, saying they'd trouble us here.

It was a lie. The truth was, as I made out from the look she gave me immediately after, that she had a hunch that there wouldn't be any children here.

"So," Fahad started. "Have you reconsidered interiors yet, or should I begin praising your work again?"

He let out a short laugh, but no one joined him. Zaeb only smiled.

"Seriously, Nadir," he turned to me. "You've got to make her understand! She has such an obvious flair for it."

"As a matter of fact, I did think about it," Zaeb said immediately, because she knew I was not going to reply. "I do admit I miss the kick of it. Like right now, I'm itching to see this whole place, the never-ending possibilities of its rawness, it is just..."

Sami laughed. "And do you have any expert opinions I could access for free? Because I don't have much clue about interiors, not to mention how I'd love to use my friend's talent!"

Friend, I thought as she stood up. A better thing to call her would be sister.

As I saw mutely, the three of them walked up and down the length of the area and considered the spots for the furniture apart from the sofa set that was already there.

Sami laughed when Zaeb handspanned the width of the door. She measured a wall here, a corridor there, judged the windows. He scarcely left her side as she hopped about estimating the kind of wallpaper that would go with the sofa, the size of his work desk, where the coffee table would look best.

I looked on, quietly. There was a strange feeling in my stomach. Something did not feel right, but I couldn't tell what it was.

It took me several long minutes to figure out that it was the way that he was looking at Zaeb that I wasn't able to digest.