Will You Love Me?: Something Beautiful

Chapter 4

Emma felt horrible. You had told her what had happened, just like you told Nate, Conner and Scar. You assured your children there wasn't going to be any divorce, just some time apart. Emma blamed herself, but you wouldn't hear of it. In the end, it was your fault for not telling him yourself and you made sure she knew that. 

Chris, however, was furious at Emma. Apparently, he had told her not to show you that file, let alone give it to you. The fact that she snuck it into your purse made him even more upset. He tried to tell her that it was ultimately up to you and that she should just let it be. 

Obviously, she didn't see it that way. 

It's been three weeks. Thankfully, Ben had called you and said he was coming home tonight. He sounded better since the last time you spoke to him which was about a week and half ago. He sounded a bit more cheery and content. That made you happy and a bit more excited for him to come home. 

Truthfully, you've been scared about him coming back because of what he might say to you. Maybe he thought more of the divorce and thinks it's a good idea? Maybe he wants to live in separate bedrooms? Would things ever be the same? You didn't know!

So, by the time he did get home, your mind was reeling so much that it had overwhelmed you enough to cry. Ben walked into the bedroom after searching for you downstairs and saw the ensuite door was closed, but the light was on. He just figured you were using the restroom, so he started putting his clothes away. 

It was good to be home. Actually, it was great. Sleeping in a hotel bed does not compare to sleeping in your own bed. It was especially bad because all of those nights made him feel so lonely. He ached for a body to hold, for someone to keep him warm. He thought of other women he could possibly do that with, but none of them satisfied his thoughts. 

However, there was one who did...

...and it was you.

All these years of marriage and you still make his heart flutter like the first time he saw you. You still gave him dirty thoughts like the first time you washed his hair for Sherlock. His time alone gave him a lot of time to think, but only a couple nights were spent on divorce and moving out. 

The rest of the nights were you flooding his every sense. He loves you. Goddammit, he loves you so much that it hurts him (literally and figuratively). What you did was wrong. Keeping this from him was wrong. He knows that you know that and he also knows you'll be kicking yourself over it for years. 

Not to mention, you stayed when he cheated on you. Why wouldn't he stay for something like this?And you were right, you've both dealt with all the shit you've come across over the years and it has made your relationship stronger. He wasn't ready to give up on this, on you. He'll never be ready. 

After finishing unpacking his things, he sat on the bed and waited for you. He was drumming his fingers against his knees because he was getting antsy. He looked to the clock and saw it had been nearly twenty minutes since he's been home. He then looked to the door and sighed. 

Maybe you were taking one of your baths? He huffed, then decided just to see what you were up to. Besides, it's not like he hasn't seen you pee before. Very quietly, he pushed open the door and peaked his head in. You weren't peeing, but you were having one of your baths like he expected. 

Before you could notice him, because your back was facing the door, he started closing it. Just as it was about to shut, he heard you stifle a sob. He halted his movements and listened closely. He could hear you sniffling and letting out shaky breaths. 

You were crying. God, he hated it when you cried. It doesn't matter the situation, he hates it. He wants to destroy whatever reason had made you do it, but in this case, he knows it's probably him.  So, he opened the door again, but made his presence known this time. 

"Hey," he softly called, making you jump. You turned around and saw your husband whom you haven't seen in nearly a month. He was a bit stubbly since the last you saw and, truthfully, a bit skinner as well. What really caught your attention was the look of concern in his eyes while he was looking at you. 

He came into the room and shut the door behind him. He didn't want Conner walking in and seeing this. "Are you alright?" He asked. "I heard you crying and you look like you've been, as well." He knelt down next to the tub and brushed away a tear from your cheek. 

That little gesture made you start to sob and the poor man looked at a loss of what to do. So, you hugged him. It was wet and in an awkward position, but it felt so nice. He reciprocated by wrapping his strong arms around you. It wasn't a pitty hug, but a genuine loving hug. 

Oh, how you missed this. 

"What's got you like this?" He softly asked. You buried your face into his neck and breathed him in. "I didn't think you'd come home," you explained to him. He rested his cheek against your head and sighed. "I will always come home," he told you. "[Y/N], I'm not going anywhere. All I could think about, all my mind was on, was you. You've put up with so much, I have put you through more than that, and yet you are here, day after day, still with me. You made a mistake. It was a big mistake, but goddammit I love you."

You looked up at him, ready to make a big speech about how much you love him, but you couldn't because he pressed his mouth to your's. He didn't want anymore words. He just wanted you. "Mmm, Ben, we need to talk," you told him as you reluctantly pulled away. 

He then put his arms into the tub and lifted you out of the water bridal style. "Ben," you giggled, "I'm serious!" He walked you into the bedroom as he said, "Enough talking. We've been talking plenty." You raised your eyebrow at him as he set you down on the bed. 

"Ben, you've been gone for two weeks," you pointed out. "We've talked five times since then." He hovered himself over you as he chuckled, "Shut up. My point is, let's just be us for tonight. I've missed you. I've missed my wife."

How could you deny that? How could you when your thoughts have all been completely negative and he's above you, trying to give you all of his love?

"What about Conner?" You asked. Ben smiled, then put all of his weight down on you. It felt heavenly. "He's asleep with his headphones on. We can still be quick, but I can't promise about being quiet."

**

You traced your fingers across Ben's chest, going through the sparse hair, as he watched. You were both enjoying the post sex high. It seems like it's been forever since you've both done this.

"Do you want to meet him?" His voice asked, taking you out of your trance. You glanced up to him, but couldn't seem to keep eye contact as you quietly said, "Yes." He put his fingers on your chin and made you look up at him. 

He gestured to the file on the dresser, then asked, "Does that say where he is?" You didn't know where this was going and you were scared. "Yes," you told him, "but I'm too afraid to look at that part." His eyes glanced up to where the file was resting, then asked, "What if I look at it with you?"

You were confused. He looked back down at you, then said, "Darling, it's your son. If you want to meet him, then you have the right to. I'll help you, I'll get through this with you. Besides, if he's anything like you, then he's just as wonderful as the rest of our children."

There you go, crying again and here Ben goes, comforting you again. He held you until you both fell asleep to the best sleep you've had in weeks.