Fight for me (Completed)

Chapter 26

Authors Note:

Hey.. Thanks for the votes and wonderful comments. There is only few more chapters. I will try to complete it as soon as I can. Please vote and complete.

Ethan's POV:

I am late. Shit!. I shoot a message to Amy that I am on the way and rush to the waiting car parked in front of the office building to take me to the couple counsellor where Amy and I meet thrice a week.

As much as I would love if these sessions were to reconcile our marriage, it is not. These sessions are to help us build a relationship so Amy can trust me. Learning that Amy didn't trust me fully was tougher than I thought it would be.

After the first time, she allowed me to kiss her nearly 3 months ago, I was pumped. I was hoping that after a few kisses we will fall into the bed and then I win her back. But only if I had not been a total ass and haven't hurt her.

Apparently, Amy has a clear memory of every stupid thing I did or said and it subconsciously triggers a panic attack every time I try anything more than a kiss.

For a month after the kiss, we tried to move forward, get to the next "base". But we didn't get anywhere, even though Amy tried to push herself to the limits. Watching her suffer to breath was horrible.

When I couldn't see her suffer anymore, we spoke to Dr Karv and she suggested it might be more than the consequences of the attacks. She suggested a couple-counsellor who might help us with all the issues we never talked about. That's how we ended up in this session to sort our feelings.

The initial few days we talked about our good times. It was amazing. I never really talked about how we fell for each other and what we loved about another. Knowing what she felt when I asked her out the first time or how happy she was when I proposed, was refreshing.

Then we moved on to talking about the time of our divorce. Hearing Amy talk about how clueless she was about the reason why I divorced her, made me feel like the worst human being on earth. I never knew she waited for me in a hotel never our old place until she had very little money left in her account.

When I realise every stupid thing I did or said, I understand how hard or impossible it should be for Amy to forgive me. The harsh words I said out of anger never appeased me but it felt good that I was hurting her. But I never realized the scale of damage I was doing or how every single syllable will haunt her.

I might never be able to make it right with Amy but I learned a valuable lesson that no one deserves to be ridiculed. The effect of words has as much power as physical abuse.

Today, it's going to be yet another session where we will work through the day of the party and assault. Every session the guilt consumes me more and more, and it feels like I am fried in burning oil. Nevertheless, I deserve it.

Dr Warren greets me and Amy and escorts us to our couches. The couches are arranged to face each other making sure we look at each other when we talk. Dr Warren is a fifty-something women expert in relationship building. She asks us if we made any progress over the weekend.

In the last session, we talked about the day we hiked around the island. Amy seemed to appreciate that I followed her and didn't let her go alone even though she didn't want it at that time. The session was on a lighter note and I hoped we will get past kissing but Amy tensed up as soon as I slid my finger inside her shorts. Amy tried to calm down but I didn't want to push her so we ended it.

"From what I have been observing, I feel Mr Harris you are giving up easily. These sessions are not only for Amy. It's for you as well Mr Harris. You have to trust yourself", Dr Warren says.