Ambivalent • DazaixReaderxChūya

13. Trapped

Dazai sighs and shakes his head. Atsushi gets up towards you, looking at Tanizaki behind you before giving an understanding nod. Unsure of what they were going to do, the last thing you expected was Tanizaki to let you go, and hit your head with so much force, that all you could hear was last was Dazai's yells in protest that they could have taken you awake, before you black out.

-❦-

You wake up dazed in a familiar setting, one you hadn't seen since you first got attacks six months ago. The agency infirmary. It looked identical to when you first left it, but instead of being carefully taken care of and finding Yosano in front of you, this time your hands were cuffed to the sides of the bed, and the person in front of you was Atsushi, watching you with hurt in his eyes.

"Why did you do it?"

"What?" You ask him to clarify, his words jumbled up in your ears as you were trying to stay in full consciousness.

"Why did you kill him?!" Atsushi raises his voice, his hands curled up in fists now. He's clearly agitated and you can tell he feels betrayed.

"I-I'm Port Mafia. It was my job." You reply, flinching at Atsushi's tone.

"You didn't have to go through with it. I believed in you when I met you, I defended you when you attacked me. Why did you chose them?" His questions keep coming, and you find it hard to keep up. Did any of this really matter?

"Chose them? I was lost, Atsushi. They helped me find myself." You say firmly, no regret in your voice.

"I was worried for you, you know. I was worried with what would happen to you if you didn't come back to the agency. I didn't realize I should have been worried for everyone around you instead."

Atsushi gets up from the chair he had been sitting on, and without another word, he leaves the infirmary with a slam on the door.

Why does it matter?

-❦-

2 hours after the talk with Atsushi, the door opens again. This time, it's Dazai. At the sight of him, you don't say anything. He doesn't say anything either. Instead, he takes the chair Atsushi had been sitting in and pulls it back, spinning it around so he was seated backwards, his head resting on the back part of the chair, his eyes on you intently.

"We can't decide what to do with you. Most of the agency believes you were only sent to kill the rogue. But some have their suspicions that you were meant to harm us too." He finally speaks, his head tilting, his eyes changing from nothing to definite disappointment.

"You didn't listen to me when we spoke so many months ago. And then you didn't speak to me again. They say ghosting is quite rude" Dazai adds with a pout, setting aside all other feelings with ease, like he'd enjoying watching you squirm with frustration above all else.

"I don't think that's my biggest problem right now." You roll your eyes to his jokes, but you feel yourself heat up with embarrassment.

"Well, until either someone comes for you or we decide what to do for them, it's the only problem you can think about." He shrugs, getting up and setting the chair aside, leaning against the bedside now.

"You know, I've wondered who made you want to go back to the Port Mafia. It couldn't be Akutagawa, and any of his immediate subordinates would probably not take too kindly to you...so who was it, [f/n]?" Pure curiosity fills his voice, and the closer he leans, the more you feel your face turn red.

A look flashed accross your face as you remember last night's incident, the way Chūya's body felt so close to yours...

Dazai tilts your chin upwards toward him, and you are more distracted than you've been all day. Distracted not by darkened, longer ginger hair, but by the waves with a rich chocolate brown colour, where blue-grey eyes had engulfed your being last night, light brown ones enchanted your every nerve. The same vulnerability you always felt with him never left you.

"You have so much potential. Are you sure I can't convince you to stay? Do they really have that much on me?" He whispers, his gaze darkening before his look being replaced with a playful smile of an innocence he only pretended to have.

A door slams behind Dazai, and you recognize Kunikida's voice yelling at his partner.

"DAZAI. STOP FLIRTING WITH THE ENEMY."