Red Roses: A Choni Story

Funeral

Cheryl's POV
I'm outside Toni's trailer to pick her up for the funeral.
"Hey baby," she says opening the door
"Hey Tones, are you almost ready?"
She exhales and nods
"I don't know if I can do this without crying,"
"You should cry, you need to show your emotions baby," I say rubbing her arm
She nods and tears fall down her cheek
"I miss him," she says
"I know baby," I say hugging her "I know you do,"
We drive to the funeral home and we're among the first to arrive.
"That's my grandmother, the one in the wheelchair is my aunt, and my asshole uncle is beside her," she says "I have to say hi,"
"Do they know your bi?" I ask not wanting to out her
"Ya you're okay babe,"
"Antoinette?" The old lady asks "you've grown up so much,"
"Hi Grandma," Toni says hugging her
"You're so frail girlie, I know you're sad about Samuel's untimely passing but he'd want you to eat," the old lady says
"I am eating grandma, just trying to stay small,"
"And who is this?" She asks pointing at me
"This is my girlfriend Cheryl," Toni says putting her hand on my back "she's really been helping me the last few days,"
"Samuel knew her, right?" Her aunt asks
"Yes, Sammy really liked her Aunt Jen- he loved hanging out with her,"
"He talked about her," she says blandly
She talks to them for a while before more family comes in.
"Toni!" A little boy says
He kinda looks like Sammy, but with different eyes and his hair is different.
"Hey Marty," She says bending down and hugging him "how are you?"
"I'm sad, I miss Sammy,"
"I know buddy, I miss Sammy too,"
"Were you crying?" He asks
"I was," she says "Sammy was my only brother,"
"He wouldn't want you to cry though,"
"I know Marty," she says picking him up "you're getting bigger,"
"You weren't at my birthday party,"
"My dad wouldn't let me come, maybe next year. I can't miss your 7th birthday, can I?"
He shakes his head and looks at me
"You're pretty,"
"Thank you, I love your tux,"
He giggles and looks at Toni
"Who is she?" He whispers
"That's Cheryl, she's my girlfriend," Toni says giving me a small smile
"Oh nice to meet you," he says
"Nice to meet you as well Marty," I laugh
"MARTIN! GET OVER HERE!" Her uncle yells
He jumps and Toni puts him down
He runs over to his dads side and I look at Toni.
"He doesn't get beat, don't worry," she says "emotional abuse probably, but my aunt is trying to get them out of there,"
I rub her back as the funeral staff come get her.
"Are you Toni Topaz?"
"I am," she says
"The Wake is now ready, would you like to make sure it is how you wanted it?" The employee asks
She nods and asks me to come with her.
We walk in and the small casket hurts to look at.
"It's nice, no?" She says
"It's lovely," I say looking around "you did a great job,"
"Thank you," she says
She walks over to the open casket and surprisingly gives a small smile
"He looks peaceful. He looks.. happy," she says with tears falling down her cheeks
I rub her back and she looks at me.
"It's going to be a hard few hours, isn't it?"
"It will be," I say "but it will get better, get easier,"
She nods and goes over to the door and opens it up for everyone to come in.
It's quiet for a while
Not silent, there's small conversation- and sobs from Toni's family members.
Ronnie comes with Reggie and they give Toni flowers.
"We're very sorry for your loss," Reggie says
"Thank you," Toni mouthes
"If there's anything you or your family needs, just let us know," Ronnie says
Toni nods and continues looking at the casket
"Babe.. you wanna go say your goodbyes?"
She shakes her head and starts crying
"I can't say goodbye yet. I'm not ready," she whispers "he's too young, he can't go. Cheryl he c-cant go I-I cant b-be alone,"
"Toni, Toni. It's okay, it's alright to feel this way babe,"
"He can't be gone Cher, he's my baby brother. He can't be,"
"I know this is hard to understand, I know this is going to be hard to hear Toni- but he has already passed away. He's not gone, he's always going to be in your heart and looking down at you- but he's not coming back Toni," I say cupping her face "I'm sorry Toni,"
"He's gone," she says "he's really gone,"
"I'm sorry babe, I'm sorry," I say hugging her "you have to say your goodbyes baby, you have to,"
She nods and starts walking over to the casket.
She starts whispering and moves his hair out of his eyes.
I go over and rub her back
"Keep talking, I just wanna  be here," I say
"I love you baby boy, I'm sorry I always got angry for you not controlling your blood sugar- you're so small and I'm very very proud of how well you did buddy. You're always going to be my little bro. I'll love you forever," she says sobbing and putting her hands on his "I love you Sammy, I hope you can finally have fun up there Sam,"
She hugs me and burys her head in my hair.
"Thank you for being here," she says
"You're going to be okay baby," I whisper "you're okay,"
"Anthony, I thought I fucking told you," I hear her dad's voice say
He's obviously drunk or high or something
"Ronald Stop it, the girl doesn't need a scene here," Toni's aunt says "and drop it with degrading her with that name. You know she's a girl, and you have to accept that,"
"Don't tell me what to fucking do Jen,"
"Leave me alone dad," Toni says looking back at the casket
She leans down and kisses his forehead.
"You're away from the scary guy now Sammy. He's not going to wake you up, break your stuff, he's not going to hurt me in front of you anymore. You'll never have to see him again, believe me," she says fixing his hair again
"You fucking whore, bringing your dyke girlfriend to my sons funeral. Why the hell do you insist on making my life worse?" He slurs
She grabs my hand and tries to walk back towards Ronnie and Reggie.
He winds up and punches her right in the face
"It's your fucking fault he's dead. If you would've let him stay in our trailer Jen would not have been driving him," he hisses "it's your fucking fault,"
"I know it is okay? But can you for once just give me a day. A day for me to remember my brother? He's been the only person for years to love and care about me, please dad. Just give me a day to grieve my brother,"
He punches her again and walks towards the casket
"Don't be a whore," he says looking back at her "northside bitches ain't worth it,"
She just walks out of the room and I follow her
"Tones," I say softly
"I'm sorry I don't stand up for you. He scares me so much, and I don't want a scene,"
"Babe you don't have to stand up for me, I don't really care what he thinks," I say with a slight chuckle "I just wanna know that you're okay,"
"It was better than I expected. He didn't stab me, he's drunk and he only really called me a whore- I think it's a win," She half chuckles "why did it have to be Sammy, why couldn't it be him?"
"I don't know Toni. I don't,"
I wrap my arm around her back and rub her other arm
We go through the formal funeral and Toni gives a eulogy. Half way through she turns around and starts sobbing at the casket.
I stand up and kneel beside her.
"Babe," I say "can you finish?"
"I-I will, I'm just sad," she says
"I know Tones, I know you are,"
I give her a second and help her stand up.
"Stay here, please?" She asks
"Sure babe," I whisper
"Sorry about that," she says into the microphone "I think everyone that met my brother over his all too short life knew what type of person he was. He was a jokester. He was a goofball. He- he was a light in the darkness that is the south side of Riverdale. He always made me feel better, his laugh always made me smile and he never failed to make anyone around him smile. Sammy was your typical four year old, and I think as the years go on- the day he died, his birthday, Christmas, and halloween won't get easier. Every time I think about him I'm sad knowing I'll never see him again. I think the most important thing Sammy taught me and most people who knew him- was despite what might be happening, smile because as he once told me "smiling is fun, it makes me feel better and it makes you look more pretty," Thank you all for being here to remember my brother,"
We go to the cemetery for the burial and then to the wyrme for a small family get together.
"Tones if you wanna be with your family we can head out," I say parking
"Can you guys stay?" She asks
Ronnie and Reggie nod.
"Of course Toni,"
Reggie and Ronnie go inside and Toni stops me at the door
"I just wanted to thank you for how great you've been these last few days," she says grabbing my hips and backing me into a wall "it's been nice having someone care for what happens to me,"
"I'll always care what happens to you Tones," I say putting my arms on her shoulders
"Thank you so much,"
"It my pleasure Tones,"
She kisses me and smiles against my lips
We go inside and sit on the bar stools
"It was a lovely service Toni," Ronnie says
"Thank you,"
A guy around our age yells Toni's name and she groans
"I just gotta talk to a few of my cousins. I'll be back babe, Pea is right there- only take drinks from him,"
I nod and she pecks my lips
She walks off and I talk to Ronnie and Reggie for a while.
"Hi Cheryl," Toni's grandma says sitting beside me
I smile and nod politely
"How long have you been with Antoinette?" She asks
"Almost a month officially,"
"So very new?"
"It's definitely a new relationship but we really bonded for a long time before that," I sigh
"You obviously know about her father?"
"That's how we started talking," I sigh "my mom is not the nicest person either,"
"I didn't raise that man to be like that, I don't know how it happened," she sighs "you're good for Antoinette,"
"I just want her to be happy,"
"You seem like a good one Cheryl,"
I smile and she leaves
Toni's the best thing that has ever happened to me
And I'm going to help her through it