My Sweetest Downfall

Chapter 2 (part 1)

HIIIIII omg im so sorry this took so long, i've been going through a lot of crap since school started, and ive been too distracted to write. BUT IM BACK!! (sorry this isnt a whole lot, my phone is about to die and its late but i dont want to leave you pretties waiting any longer ^///^)

*WARNING* This contains lots of language. Also this can be very very triggering please please dont read this if you are easily triggered, stay safe and i love you all ♡

Dan ran out of that wretched church, his breath eratic and his steps uncoordinated. He slammed his hand into the front door and it swung open, but snapped back before Dan could clear the doorway, and smashed into his legs. Dan yelped in pain and crumpled down to the ground. Fresh tears pricked his eyes as he held his legs.

At this point dan couldnt control himself; everything was so wrong, so fucking wrong. Who the hell gave Phil the right to do this to him? Why did Phil even matter anymore? It's been three god damned years, Phil has moved on-- he's married for gods sakes-- and he doesn't give a damn about Dan anymore. Everyone else has gotten up and left, so why is Dan still curled up on the ground unable to move?

Why did they all have to leave him?

"FUCK-" Dan tried to scream, his voice breaking. "F- fuck, fuck, fuck-- f-uck..." finally his voice gave out, and he just lay there, shaking on the concrete.

Dan had never hated himself more than he did this night. You're a god damned piece of fucking shit, that's why they left. You never kept in touch with them, or even attempted to at that, that's why they fucking left. You're boring, rude, needy; you always took and never gave. You're annoying, dull, a god damned piece of shit. You talked about yourself too much, you never listened to him and his problems. It was always you, you, you. You fucking worthless shit, that's why Phil left your sorry ass. You don't deserve him, or your friends. You are so much lower than them, you deserve to be left behind, forgotten. No one is gonna come running after you, you should just do it-- it's not like they'd care if you died anyway you fucking shit. You're all alone. They've all left, even him-

"Phil-- FUCK!" Dan hit the concrete as hard as he could, wincing at the pain. He did it again and again, getting onto his knees so he could hit harder. Red smeared the gound and he could feel his bones breaking, but he kept puching. This is what his sorry little life has amounted to. It's almost laughable how pitiful Dan was right now.

Dan's punches got weaker and weaker. Blood was splattered on the pavement, and a small trail of it wound off into the grass. He let his battered hand fall to his side and he hung his head low. Tears dripped from the tip of his nose and his whole body felt numb. He lost. He had nothing to live for anymore.

When did he even get this bad?

Dan let out a small, sad chuckle.

Fuck it. Fuck all of this.

please dont shoot me *hides*