I Lost Control

23. Chaos

SUMMER

Matt's wearing the same thing he was when he was working out, basketball shorts but he's added a white tee with the sleeves cut off, and a hat turned backwards on his head. There's something about seeing him in something other than his business attire that I love so much, but I keep a straight face as I dig my keys out of my purse and unlock my car.

"What are you doing here?" I ask as I open the drivers side door and set my stuff on the seat. I place my hands on my hips as I turn to look at him. He's silent. "How did you even know I was here?" He takes a hit off the cigarette he'd been holding in his hand and blows the smoke out in a large puff. I know he's agitated when he smokes. It's not something he does often.

"GPS on your phone. I set it up the same day we bought Landon that smart watch that's connected to our phones just in case something were to ever happen." I roll my eyes. Of course.

"So you can keep track of me?"

"I never had any intentions on using it except for an emergency, but you keep disappearing and not telling me where you're going."

"Did Brian call you?" Another hit from the cigarette. This time he tosses the butt to the ground and turns in his seat to face me.

"He was worried."

"I'm a grown woman who can come have a drink with friends. I don't need either of you keeping tabs on me." I brush my hair behind my ears and glare at him.

"Landon fell off the play set and cut his leg. He was crying asking for you. Stop being so fucking selfish." My stomach turns as I reach inside the car for my phone. How could I be so neglectful to my child? I'm so caught up in my own world I didn't think for a second the reason Brian was calling was because of Landon.

"Don't worry, I stopped by on my way here and calmed him down. He's okay. It just scared him and he wanted his mother." Matt's voice is void of any emotions, which is so far from who he was earlier. The darkness must be tamed for the time being.

"I have to go." I send a quick text to Brian letting him know I'm on my way, and turn to get in the car, but I'm stopped by Matt's hand. He's stepped out of the Jeep and pulls me to him.

"Stay away from this place, Summer. The shit that happened to you here is not okay. Why would you ever want to come back?" Memories flash before my eyes and I'm reminded of all the ways Matt has saved me even if he's capable of tearing me down all the same.

"I have to go to Landon, Matt. I can't take a trip down memory lane with you right now."

"Landon is fine, you're not. Stop fighting me."

"You haven't changed!" I cry out as I tear my arm away from him. "You did this! You tore us apart and left me to deal with all this shit alone. I have begged you to get help so many times, but you refuse." I can feel the tears threatening to fall but I force them back. I won't cry in front of him, not anymore. "Look at what you've done, look at the parent I am now because I'm so concerned with our disfunctional relationship I can't think of anything else. We're done, Matt. Over. Leave me the fuck alone." I tear myself away from him and get into the car. I pull away without looking back at him and head to Brian's to see my son.

++

TWO YEARS PRIOR

"Brandy, I'm going to need you on stage tonight." Roman, my boss, tells me as I walk in the door to the club. My eyes flicker over his shoulder to the stage where one of the girls is finishing her set.