Elantine Editing [Closed]

@stainedwithink - Bliss

Overall Review - @stainedwithink

I enjoyed your first chapter. Your writing style is light and easy to read, and you have few grammar mistakes (although I pointed out the ones I found).

There are a few things I noticed though, which you could work on:
- You already show some things, but I think you can manage even better. You write well despite a few typos and mistakes, and so I think you can push yourself to the next level - starting with even more showing. Get creative about how to show us certain things which you're currently telling us!

- Maybe make the foreshadowing clearer. Judging only by the first chapter, without counting the blurb, I don't know yet what your story is about. Has something happened to the parents? I liked the sentence about Instagram because it intrigues the reader to wonder about the main character's past. Who is she thinking about when she looks at Instagram's icon? Why? But if possible, try to bring the stakes or challenges into the very first chapter of your story. As a reader, I need a reason to give you my time. You already give the reason that you write well and put effort and love into literature - but I think strengthening the foreshadowing, the doubt of the reader, will benefit your story by making a bigger hook.

- Keep writing! From what I can see, you have a lot of potential. Bear in mind that I'm still learning about writing, too. I wish you luck with your writer's journey and your book. Good luck!

I hope this helped. While you write, please remember that you're already doing great. It can be discouraging to have critique like this - but all writers have to learn this stuff. Your book, if you decide to concentrate your attention on it, will only get better as you improve with time. I wish you much fun, hard work and luck. I'm thinking of having a look at your blog. :) Feel free to ask away or leave some feedback on the service I have given you!

-Hadley S.-