(3) Painstaker

Fourteen: Stop

TRIGGER WARNING: There is (relatively) light detail of assault in this chapter. Please be advised and cautious. 

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His eyes were wide, staring into mine. I was still sprawled over him, heart beating wild and grip as hard as steel on his shoulders. He swallowed the pill. Just like that. No hesitation at all. In my head, I heard my father's words on repeat, over and over, swallowing up my sanity.

'Your mate will reject you. I'm sure of it. From the moment you were born, I knew you would be a disappointment. The more you try, the harder you fail. No man will ever want that. No man will ever want you.'

He was right. Oh Goddess, that son of a bitch was right. And, shit, is that tears begging to well in my eyes? I would rather swim in a pool full of toxic liquid than let Zeke see tears escape my eye ducts. My heart was a story on its own; it felt like someone was punching it. Why do I care? I've spent six years of my life not caring. I've spent six years trying so damn hard to convince myself that we aren't good for each other.

And we're not.

Loosening my hold, I pulled away from him. A smile rose on his lips, but I didn't care anymore. It hurt like a bitch, but he didn't need to know that. Once I was standing, Zeke shot forward to grab my wrist and stop me from retreating. "I knew you cared."

His words made my entire body freeze. Slowly, I looked over at him, watching that smug look take over his face. "What?" Was the only word I managed to say.

His thumb caressed my wrist. "It was a fake, love. My mark is still on your neck. We're still mates."

It took me three whole seconds to process and react. First, I ripped out of his hold. I was about to punch him in the face, but that was too easy. Instead, I fuelled my anger into my expression and trained it on his disappearing smile. I had to leave, otherwise I would lose it. I was going to say something, anything, to convey what a stupid, cruel trick he just pulled, but no words would come out.

I left the room to see CC leaning against the opposite side of the hall, head tilted to the side as she examined me. "I'm going to come right out and say I listened to that whole conversation. Want me to show you to your room so you can cry in peace?"

I would have replied something snarky, but I knew I would start crying if I spoke. My mind was quickly trying to give reasons to this; the full moon was hours away, I was thinking too often of my father's tender love and care, my supposed mate just pulled a hurtful trick on me just to prove that I cared.

CC started walking and I followed without a word. The walk was a short one, down a few flights of stairs and down a few more hallways. She motioned to a room, dangling a key on her finger and she held a pill in her other hand. "The pill will make the full moon ineffective."

I took the pill, swiped the key, opened the door, and locked myself inside of the darkened room.

Sliding my back against the door until I was sitting, I let it all out. All of it. What started out as a few tears turned into a waterfall of ugly cries. My limbs were shaking, my lungs felt clouded, and my heart continued to get brutally punched by the thoughts that poisoned my mind.

If that wasn't enough, I heard a howl somewhere far off. A wolf's howl. That alone told me that the full moon was underway. Sucking in a shaky breath, I downed the pill with a dry throat, then continued crying some more.

'You see this?' My father held his hand out, covered in my blood. 'It's weakness, Crystal. It's stupidity. You did this to yourself. This happened because of you. Never forget that.'