Writing Advice

Is it Worth it to Make Something That Isn't Perfect?

I've found myself asking this very question over the past week or so. I think that, as a writer or an artist or just a person who creates things in general, it can often be a constant struggle. Maybe you have an inner vision of what you want to create that you always end up falling short of (I tend to get this feeling with every single thing I write). Maybe you create something that you think is good only to receive some unexpected criticism or not have it do as well as you had wanted it to do in a competition. Maybe you're constantly comparing yourself to people who you think are better than you.

Whatever the case, the impulse can be to just give up. What's the point? I'll never be as good as I want to be. I'll never be good enough to have everybody else think my creation is good. I'll never be better than those people I admire. 

For me, I tend to get really stuck when I begin believing that I'll never be as good as this community deserves. And it's particularly bad when it comes to the GRA/PWA live streams.

The truth is that I'm really bad at doing them. Every time I host one I try to do the best I can, and every time I see nothing but the mistakes I made and the things that weren't as good as they should have been. And the people who watch the streams tend to agree with me. Every year the PWA sends out a survey to ask people for feedback, and every year the live stream is one of the most heavily criticized areas. And it's not limited to just that survey either.

I've really just been scraping things together from the start. I wasn't even a member of the GRA when I hosted the first GRA live stream (which Ivy, the leader at the time referred to as a podcast). I just happened to be around on the day when Ivy had planned for there to be a live stream. And I was there when she started panicking because the only person who knew how to run a live stream wasn't able to make it at the last minute. I told her that I'm pretty good with computers and I thought that I could probably figure it out.

And the rest is history. I was then and still tend to be the person who's in the right place at the right time. The person with the software, the stable internet connection. The adult who lives alone and controls her own schedule so she never has to cancel at the last minute or worry about background noise from family members. The one who's responsible and can always be counted on to do every part of the work that needs to be done. And, gradually, the person with the most experience.

But I'm not the person who's the best at video editing or graphics or finding copyright neutral music that won't make YouTube angry. In fact I'm the first to admit how terrible I am at those things. I'm not a visual person to such an extent that I can look at a graphic or a book cover or a layout and have no idea whether it looks good or not. Compounding the problem is my lack of resources. Because of my personal moral code, I restrict myself to never using any fan art without permission. Because Imber is always busy and I don't want to burden her I usually end up putting together the best graphics I can manage. I'm using my personal laptop and either free software or anything I happen to already have for other reasons. I'm running the stream and trying to participate in it at the same time. And, for the GRA streams, I'm trying to run the stream, participate, and be the leader who keeps all the other participants on track and on schedule and being fair to every single entry. And I only have so much free time.

At the end of the day, there's no way that I'm ever going to make a perfect live stream. It's impossible. Plain and simple.

I see criticisms about the live stream and I agree with them and yet I don't believe that I can ever fix them. I just don't have the resources. It's too just too difficult. It's just too much pressure. I feel so bad for letting everybody down, and I just want to give up. I've come so close to giving up so many times. You have no idea how badly I have wanted to say: "No more. I'm done. I just can't take this anymore. I am the worst and I should just give up."

And I'm writing this article now because I think this is the perfect example of a bigger problem: the struggle of perfectionism. And I realized that it comes down to just one question, the title of this article. Is it worth it even worth it to make something when you know it won't be perfect?

And I'm writing this because, no matter how difficult and painful it might be to do so, I believe the answer is yes.

I believe that it is better for people to have a live stream or a video (in the case of the PWA's upcoming premiere video this year) than not to have one. I believe it's better to do the very best you can than to give up and just make something half way good so that you don't feel bad about yourself when the criticism comes. Because the temptation can be strong to make something not that good on purpose rather than truly put yourself out there. I believe that it's better to do the very best you can, even knowing that it's bad or that it's good but it's not perfect, and to put it out there into the world for people to enjoy. It's better to be criticized for something that you did your best on than to feel good about yourself but not create anything at all.

Obviously it's not good to feel terrible about yourself and your abilities either, but that's where you have to step up to the plate on your own behalf. Anyone can see the flaws in something if they're good enough to be serve as an accurate judge of something, but only you know how hard you worked and how much of yourself you put on the line to make the thing you made. And if you really gave it your all, that in itself is a reason to be proud of yourself. And you should also be proud of yourself for having the courage to put it out there.

Never stop being proud of yourself because of other people's standards. Never stop being proud of yourself because you made a thing that isn't perfect. 

None of us will ever make a thing that's perfect. But all of us can make things that we deserve to be proud of if we give it our all and never give up trying.

My live streams are pretty bad. But they're also pretty impressive given what I have to work with. I can look back and see that the very first live stream I hosted was much worse than the ones I host today. I can look back and see that I've done the best I can to use that criticism, that I've learned from my mistakes, that I'm slowly getting better over time. I can reflect upon my situation and see that some or all of those live streams wouldn't exist at all if I hadn't been there.

And for all of you writers out there, that's especially true of your own stories. No one is going to write your story except you. No one in the world can write it in the same way you can. And I've never seen a single book on Wattpad that didn't have at least one reader who enjoyed it once they gave it a chance. Even if it's just one person, you are making a positive difference in someone's life. You should never minimize the importance of that.

Don't let the critics, internal or external, ever convince you to give up on your writing or your art. Let them drive you down the path to improvement, but stop for a break if you need to. Look around, see how far you've come, and realize that, even if you're not exactly where you want to be, it's better to be on your way there than to be crashed into a ditch. 

Even if you think you've taken a wrong turn and started to go backwards, any car driver can tell you that it's faster to get back to where you need to be if you keep on going. Don't stop. If you're on a deserted road going fifty miles an hour in the wrong direction, take your U-turn at your current speed. Preserve your momentum.

Nothing you create is ever a waste of time. Even if the story as a whole isn't what you wanted, there might be one chapter or one paragraph or even just one sentence that is good. And even if you're convinced that the entire thing is a raging dumpster fire, remember this quote from Thomas Edison:

"I have not failed 10,000 times. I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving that those 10,000 ways will not work. When I have eliminated the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will work."

Success can come when you least expect it. Don't give up before you find it.