My Neighbor's Friend

Missed Opportunity

Ah... Thank you Hange.

"It was probably around six months ago. We were working on a kid's project, planning an advertisement campaign for a snack food company and it kinda reminded me of Eren. How he used to sneak into the kitchen for snacks at every chance and I had to keep an eye on him", Hange paused, smiling to see me pout. "So, I guess I got sort of nostalgic and ended up blabbering about everything to him. Shiganshina, my parents, my life here and why I left it all behind."

Levi and Hange exchange a glance. It's funny how they're so difficult to stop while bickering, and yet so understanding of each other at these moments.

"Levi is a good listener. I gotta give him that. He listened to the whole thing without ever interrupting me. And then, when I was done, his first words were something like – Get a fucking life, shithead. It's about time you wipe your ass off of those shitty memories and move ahead."

We laugh. I find myself feeling the same admiration I felt for him yesterday when I'd heard Hange say the very same thing.

Levi Ackerman.

You hide behind a mask of indifference, but you listen to your friends. You show as if you don't care, but you never fail to give them the push they need. You act annoyed and irritated, but you're always there when someone needs you.

You pretend to ignore me, but your eyes find me again and again.

Levi Ackerman. You are an enigma.

An enigma I wish to decipher.

"He's not a man of many words, as you've seen", Hange continues. "But that day, he made me understand a very important thing. That I am who I am because of the life I've had so far. I can't ignore a part of my life just because it's painful, because that would mean ignoring a part of my own existence. I wouldn't have become this Hange Zoe if not for the people around me. My home, my childhood, my parents, my friends – they're an inseparable part of my life that I can never deny", they pause to take a breath. "And he told me how lucky I am to have memories and people I can still cherish. He opened my eyes to the fact that my home isn't just a memento of the agonizing memories. It's also full of all the happiness and laughter I shared with my close ones. Every inch of that house can still remind me of who I am and who I want to be."

They look at Levi. And for once, it's neither playful nor challenging. It's just pure respect and fondness.

"If there are painful memories to hurt me, then there are ten times more joyful memories to embrace me as well. That's what he taught me."

I find myself unable to take my eyes off of him. What is this guy? An angel in disguise?

He feels all three pairs of eyes on him. Apparently we're all looking at him with unconcealed awe. He shifts uncomfortably, eyes never meeting any of ours.

"Such a pain", he mutters without any venom in his voice. "I only stated the fact to you, something that couldn't get through your skull full of shit!"

"Levi..." I hear my mom say. Her voice sounds broken. "Thank you..."

She's crying.

"Aww Carlaaa!!" Hange hugs her, more like squeezes the life out of her. "Don't cry!"

Levi and I watch the two of them, not sure how to react or what to say. There's not a lot of time that I've seen my mother cry. She's usually so energetic and cheerful, and always, always so forceful with me. So right now, seeing this side of her, I feel at a loss of what to do.