Dear Eddie [SLOW UPDATES]

1

"A diary?"

"Yes, a diary"

I keep staring blankly at doctor Diana for a few more seconds before letting out a laugh and asking again, louder this time.

"A diary?"

I notice her taking a deep breath, though I know she tried to desguise it "Yes Lisa, a diary. Do you have anything against this idea?"

I furrow my brows and decide to ignore her question "Why should I start keeping a diary? How the hell is that gonna help me with anything?"

"It's only an idea, you don't have to do it if you don't want to" She says, calmly as always, and with my silence as an answer, she continues "I mean, the whole point about therapy is to open up, you know? Talk about stuff you've been holding back and get to know yourself a little better"

Though I know she still hadn't finished, I interrupt her anyways "Actually, the whole point about therapy is making my mom feel better about herself, cause like this she can pretend that she cares"

My shrink raises her eyebrows at me, as if she's surprised about me talking about my mom "Alright, would you like to talk about her? How are things at home?"

"Nah, I don't wanna talk about her. What were you saying about the diary?"

She takes a deep breath, probably a little frustrated with my behavior, again.

"I don't have to read the things you'd write, if you prefer it like that. I just think that it might be good for you to open up a little, even if it's only to yourself"

I stare at her for a moment, tired of that discussion "Yeah, okay. I'll work on that" I tell her, already getting up "Our time is over, isn't it?"

-

Dear Diary,

Gosh, that sounds cheesy, doesn't it? I don't think having a diary is my kinda thing, I just think it's weird. I mean, am I supposed to call you "dear" when you don't even answer me? It's creepy.

But my shrink told me I should start using you, so I better do it. I don't think I'll call you diary though, I could give you a name, that'd be cool. What about... Eddie? I like that one, maybe that's just cause I'm quite a big fan of Eddie Vedder. Should I introduce myself to you by the way? I don't know how this works.

I'll just do it anyway: My name is Lisa and I'm sixteen years old. We're both in New York, Eddie, but sadly we belong to the boring side of it. Life's unfair, I seriously think I could enjoy the rich and pretty side better than a lot of people currently living there.

Maybe one day I get to be one of those people.

I live in this small house with my mom, Olivia, and my older brother, Mark. He's eighteen and just finished high school and, to be honest, I don't think he has any goals. I don't remember my father, he died when I was three. Mark tells me he remembers him as a really good father. Neither me nor my mom seem to miss him though.

I feel tired, Eddie. I don't even know what to tell you about my life anymore, it kinda sucks overall. If I feel like it, I'll come back to talk to you tomorrow.

__________

PS: I just read what I wrote (geez, I'm a shitty writer) and I think I might tell you why I'm seeing a shrink.