Alone [manxman]

twenty-two:: when he leaves the light on.

I froze, eyes probably bulging out of my head and I felt my stomach drop to my knees. And then I was running over what in his fucking mind told him that this was okay.

It was an uncomfortable feeling and I was unaware on how he expected me to react. Maybe I should've been more upset than I was but honestly, what was the use in fighting this?

Paul was standing there, his hands in the pockets of his shorts, he had his eyes on mine and an awkward smile on his flawless face. With a billowy loose-shirt, it had some abstract print on it and was half-unbuttoned, my eyes met a chain dangling in the middle. I gulped, trying not to look him in the eyes then and I was sure I was sweating.

I was speechless, my eyes wide and I could see him visibly getting more nervous. Biting his bottom lip, he laughed softly when I didn't say anything. "I heard you were in town and I was visiting my parents..."

And he chose to visit me?

"I was-I was hoping we could talk."

What would we possibly have to talk about? We'd talked enough the last time, hadn't we? Everything ended, he made sure of that, what was there to talk about? There wasn't anything to talk about, not when we ended on 'I'm gonna miss you,' not when he texted me wasted and we hadn't talked since.

Okay, maybe we did have some air to clear.

"I'm sorry- this is crazy; I should've called-"

"Yeah."

Gulping, he stood stagnant, my hand still curled around the doorknob and I was locked in place. He must've taken that as a sign of his presence being unwanted.

He gaped for a second, opening his mouth to speak but instead, it ended with a soft "um..." he smiled then, it awkward and he bit his plush bottom lip. "I-I- uh-"stepping back, he stumbled ever so slightly, looking behind him for a second and then back at me.

"I shouldn't have come... I'll go-" he offered and he was already stepping down one step when I found myself inching closer.

But even with my guard up, I hated how troubled he looked upon realizing my reservations. He'd come all the way here with a smile and it would be rude to not even indulge in a conversation. "It's okay." It was still awkward, I knew he knew that as I stepped back, allowing him the space to step through. "Come in."

"Really, Jules, I'll go if you-"

He was still chivalrous as ever and even if it were borderline awkward now, it was still extremely cute. "Pablo." The way his eyes darted up to mine then, his body instantly relaxing with the endearment brought a flush to my cheeks. "Really, come in."

Paul must've felt just as nervous because he was nodding, rubbing his hands over the sides of his thighs as if to dry them and he was entering the house.

It was silent when I shut the door, he'd noticed the change and I was behind him, trying not to fall into how great he looked. He smelled amazing too and his eyes were still so hypnotic.

Deep browns were lazily scanning the room, probably taking in the new decor and he smiled a bit, "Heard your dad was getting married." His voice was conversational and it put me at ease, only slightly. I was still nervous, especially at the mention of the wedding, who would even tell him that?

He must have noticed my confusion because he elaborated quickly, "Our parents still talk."

"Oh." I should've expected that, Pete still talked to Jade sometimes, still had connections through Will. I guess once you meet the family, it sticks, we'd never brought them into our drama anyways. I smiled, trying to keep the conversation light, knowing that he needed a little push to relax a bit. "You could've said hi, you know... before apologizing."