Arthur Morgan's Journal rdr2

Beaver Hollow

Rescued a woman from a pair of terrifying freaks. They'd killed her husband. I have her a lift home.

For some insane reason, I went out gathering debts for Strauss.
Whole business revolted me. Bunch of sad, desperate bastards and me their worst nightmare. I'd had enough of the whole business so I ran Strauss out of camp.

Whole business of loaning revolted me. Turns out it's going to kill me, too, so I guess that's about right. Probably did Strauss a favor running him out of camp, but either way, I could not bear to see his beady little eyes no more.

Sight of that poor soldier and his squaw wife will be with me when I die.

Saw Eagle Flies, the Chief's son again. Dutch was captivated by him, turning on all his charm and confidence and seeming like a dangerous snake. What is wrong with him? Eagle Flies is desperate and angry. The local regiment are tormenting him and goading him into a fight. Now Dutch is in his ear. This will be a disaster. Poor old Karen has taken to the drink something awful.

Found a raving lunatic. Completely raving. Took him back to a village nearby - Butcher's Creek. Something ain't right there. Some kind of village elder - Obediah? Maybe - appeared. He spoke mostly nonsense. Weird place. Something not right at all.

Who were these fellas?

Hamish died. We was hunting boar and the boar won, at least against him. I liked him, but more than that, I admired him. He lacked self-pity and he lacked confusion about his place in the world. He was the man we would all want to be, if we weren't so distracted being idiots. He gave me Buell, his moody, magnificent horse, to look after.

Got a letter from Mary. What did I expect? What did I want? Weren't never meant to be and never really was, and yet somehow, in the end, I discovered I had a heart because it was broken. Oh, you fool. You sad, deluded fool. Torn in two by different ideas of who you were, and it turns out you weren't neither of them.

Went to speak to the Chief about the situation. I helped him recover some precious things from the army.

He gave me some medicine which helped me a little. He's a man who not so long ago I would have found weak and pathetic, and now I see as wise and thoughtful and sensible.

I would love to help him, or at least stop Dutch pushing his son to do something real stupid.

Blew up a bridge with Marston, either to stop the army killing us quite so easily when we attempt to rob this last train, or because we want to encourage Uncle Sam to send another train, full of payroll, for us to rob.

Whole thing seems even more ludicrous and moth eaten when I write it down, Dutch is now acting crazy and I'm acting crazy back. I'm facing death, and acting foolish. I hope Marston uses his brain.
The time for heroics and loyalty to people is over. The time is for acting right and saving the innocent, not the guilty.

Saw Captain Monroe again. A good man in a difficult situation.

This dump must seem a long way from West Point and Washington. He cares about the Indians, but he ain't too friendly with the local regiment.
Helped him distribute some vaccines others were not so keen to offer about.

Went back to that place, Butcher's Creek. The locals thought they were being attacked by demons, but I think they were just sick dogs. Seems like Obediah, the elder, is also possessed, by this snake oil shaman fella that turned up. He wants me to destroy some cursed charms in the woods around there. We shall see quite what the shaman's game is, but there's some nonsense afoot.

Destroyed those charms. Went back to the village. Now the Shaman announces things are worse because I destroyed the charms. Remarkably convenient. I was about to give him a beating when he ran off. The elder said the Shaman was interested in a mine shaft. Perhaps that's worth a look.

Went to the mine, looking to figure what hold that weird shaman has over that village. I don't know why exactly. Just seemed important, I guess. The whole place was filthy and something nasty was leaking into the water and the soil. I'm no expert, but that stuff might well explain why all the folks in Butcher Creek are so odd. Anyway, I made my way back to the village armed with this knowledge and a little of the evil looking water. Lo and behold, I find the shaman trying to force that duped elder into signing away his and the village's property rights, or rights to get a mining company to leave. It was not quite clear which. The sham shaman starts attacking me, so I force him to drink some of the run off. He admits all, promptly loses his mind and I'm waiting around to be treated like the hero I am. Or not. The villagers blamed the curse. At this point, I left them to their dreams of specters.

So we saw Colm O'Driscoll swing. Indeed we did the law's job for them, as his boys were lined up to spring him, but we dealt with them. Dutch back to being himself. At least for a moment. Sadie like a dog with a bone, although she ain't done with them yet, I don't imagine.

Wonder if this will calm Dutch down and we can get back to surviving ourselves, rather than just killing them we despise. I didn't feel too much. Bastard wanted to kill me, but he didn't want to that much, and I guess I felt about the same. He weren't ever exactly my fight, really. And now my fight is real different, with a different enemy, one I cannot see, not put a bullet into.

Him and his boys was our fault, alright, but did we ever exist or were we just a group of individuals each just falling for Dutch's dumb bluster?

I feel like I don't know nothing anymore. That whole life of certainties over.

My whole code that I lived and killed by.

Was it true? Or was there a bigger truth I was too dumb to ever see?

Things went from bad to worse with the army. I was not wrong - the local regiment's Colonel despised Captain Monroe and planned to destroy him.

Charles and I rescued Monroe and probably ruined his life in the process.

I hope he can find peace someplace.

After putting him on the train, I bumped into that nun, Sister Calderon, bound for Mexico. She gave me a few home truths about existing in this world and perhaps the next.

Maybe I have got something to hope for. Anyway, it all sounded very pretty, and took away all the dread I been feeling.

Found a fella caught in a bear trap a while back, decided, on a whim, to save him. Then bumped into him in town. Guy gave me some store credit as thanks. Guess it sometimes pays to help folk out.

Went with Charles to save Eagle Flies. They was going to hang him, I think.

Rescued him out from Fort Wallace in a storm.
I don't feel so good. I see clearly and I see nothing at all.
Whole place has gone to hell.

Dutch talking nonsense, and folk undecided as to if they see him as the only hope or an anchor dragging us all to the bottom of the ocean.

I hope John has more brains in his head than sometimes I fear he does.

I should have, well, it's a bit late for regrets. There's a whole lot I should have done and even more I shouldn't have done.

But I suppose every man has enough regrets as to let him die happy.

Just hope I did some good once I learnt to see the world for what it was.

Ain't my fault the process took quite as long as it did!

Oh, Mary! be happy, please be happy.

Tilly, Mary-Beth, save Karen if she ain't too far gone.

John, protect Abigail and Jack.

Rains Fall - save your son as you could not save your people.

Dutch, start listening to them as really loved you.