The Fallen |BxB| ✓

12 | His Only;

"Before Noah's death," I said, voice sounding indifferent to my ears, "I used to come here all the time. To be alone, or to play games in peace."

Luke shifted, and his arm touched mine. "Ken, I know you're not okay. Just know that..." He softly nuzzled my neck, and the bridge of his nose wedged on my jawline. "I'm here if you want to talk."

Did I deserve a guy like Luke? Probably not. His soothing voice tightened over me like a safety harness, and words flayed me open. For once, I felt the need to be selfish and free in his arms. "I couldn't help him," I said, bringing my knees close to my chest. "I was right there when the bear attacked Noah, and I froze." Unable to look at Luke, I fixed my gaze on the single dewdrop trickling down the grass blade. "I said that I was ready to face reality, but I think... I think I'm not."

He'll think I'm pathetic.

"What could you have done? Jumped in front of the bear and wrestled it to the ground?" He moved and sat in front of me, fingers curling over my arm. His touch insisted me to look at him. "It's not simple to lose and let go, Ken. My mother left my dad and me when I was five," he said, steely violet eyes boring into mine.

"I-I had no idea... I'm sorry." When Luke pointedly omitted any topics of his mother, I wondered but did not dare unseal any wounds.

"I know this isn't relatable. But I get where you're coming from. For a longer part of my life, I blamed it on myself," he said, keeping a steady gaze on me. "My dad never told me what happened, and I never asked out of pity. But in some ways, I knew that it was because of me."

"That's... you were just five!" I blurted.

Luke squeezed my arm, unfolding them from my knees. "It's painful, Ken. Thinking you're the reason when you really are not. I know how it feels... Trust me, there was nothing you could've done. Helplessness is one thing, but don't blame yourself."

I exhaled through my mouth. "I guess."

He smiled faintly. "You're stronger than you give yourself credit for."

"I'm sorry," I muttered.

Every step towards Luke felt like walking on a tightrope. Our increasing closeness wrapped me in the security of not falling, and the more I unraveled myself, the tighter it held me. He was the first guy I expressed my sexuality to - found comfort in a new place, in the arms of a stranger. But we were strangers no more, and I didn't know my place beside Luke Raynott, especially now. I was afraid of slipping off the rope and not having his hand to catch me.

"You're spacing out." He parted my knees, and I stopped uprooting the grass beside me, all awareness shooting to his tentative touch.

Through quickening heartbeat, I said, "I brought you to here to help you, and I'm just giving you my problems."

"Well, the major problem I'm facing is..." He said and placed his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him. Soon enough, I was sitting on his thighs™.

"Wa- woah!" I looped my arms over his neck to balance. The ripped-out grass blades loosened from my fists as I held his back.

"Not seeing you blush is a major downer." He looked up into my eyes, one hand freeing to remove my glasses. "Did I mention how stunning you look under this moonlight," he whispered, warm breath laced with the acrid aroma of ripe chokeberries.

Heat tingled my cheeks when his hands guided my legs around his waist. "So do you," I admitted. Moonbeams slipping through the canopy of trees created a mesmerizing Tyndall effect, dousing his bronze locks in silver and sharpening his features.