I can't help it, the way I feel you in my bones

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SOPHIA

ONE YEAR AGO

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I didn't want to go back to the stupid party where Zabdiel was going to be. I didn't want to see him after the embarrassing confession I made a day ago. The guy knew I liked him for Christ sake because I had the balls to tell him but I didn't think it through. The second I saw the disgust in his face I ran away. I was so stupid to even think for a second that a guy like him would like a goody-two-shoes like me. That bad boy falls for the good girl story is a load of crap.

"C'mon Sophie, you probably won't even see him. There's a ton of people and it's dark," Lola, my best friend, said as she tried to reason with me.

"I don't know babe," Joel, her boyfriend, chuckled. "Zabdiel always comes to these parties. Especially when Richard does them because he's basically obligated."

Lola gently swatted him with a scowl on her face. "You're not helping babe."

Rolling his eyes at his girlfriend, Joel shrugged her off before putting his arm around my shoulder. "Don't worry, Soph. Zabdiel will be here but as Lola said, there's a ton of people. Plus," he paused to smirk. "I know for a fact that Zabdiel likes you too so stop overthinking."

Speechless alongside the feeling of shock gave Lola the chance to drag me to the house that I was dreading to go into. Knowing my luck, I'll see Zabdiel. I also know for a fact that what Joel said was a complete lie and nothing but teasing from his part. It just wasn't even a thought to have because Zabdiel never gave me a reason to think that he liked me as something else. The whole falling in love was on my part.

If anything, Zabdiel not reciprocating my feelings would be just great. My parents never liked having him around because he was a "bad influence," so it'll be a win-win situation.

"Sophie!" Richard hollered as he made way to the door with a red plastic cup in his hand. "Didn't think you would make it, niña buena."

"Shut up, Richard," Lola shouted back but a small smile on her face. "Dime algo, is he here?"

Richard quickly glanced at me before focusing on Lola again. "He is, actually, and he wants to see you, Sophie."

"He- he what?" I stuttered more to myself than to him.

"I think you should hurry!" Richard yelled once more. "I told him I would send you to him if you came."

"What are you waiting for?" Lola pressured. "Go!"

"I don't think I should-" I began with an excuse but was cut off by the blonde guy.

"No excuses," Richard teasingly said with a grin. "He's in my room. Go."

It was still pretty early for the party I imagined since there weren't as many people as I expected. I cursed at that fact because the way to Richard's room was shorter and quicker. Before I knew it I was in front of the cream door with my hand on the knob. I wasn't mentally prepared to face him again but suddenly the door swung open, almost jerking me inside the dim room.

Zabdiel caught me but I could tell I got him by surprise. I was quick to pull myself away from him and sit at the edge of the bed as he closed the door once again.

"I thought you weren't going to show up," he hoarsely said with nothing but a straight face. "I was beginning to give up."

"Give up?" I questioned. "What do you mean?"

"Why did you run away that day?" He bluntly said, looking me dead in the eyes.

"I, um, I got scared," I stammered, devising my eyes elsewhere.

"Scared?" Zabdiel mocked. "You're scared of me? That I might do something to you, is that it?"

The energy he was radiating at that minute was shaping an anxious feeling. I wasn't exactly scared of him just scared at how dumb and silly I am.
"It's not that. I was scared that if I kept standing there I would only look like a fool. Like a dumb fool in front of you. I care what you think of me..."

His shoulders grew visibly relaxed as he took a step closer to the bed I was sitting in. "I would never think that."

I didn't know what to think, what to feel. He didn't exactly say anything but the possibility of him actually liking me back sent tingles down my spine. At the same time, I was hoping he'd say he didn't feel anything. He was no good for me, he would only bring trouble as my parents say. It's wrong. A girl like me shouldn't be with a guy like him.

"Sabes, Sophia," Zabdiel lowly chuckled. "I didn't want this to happen."

"What?" I barely answered as I looked at him nervously.

"You just came out of nowhere with your dumb cute smile and annoying happy spirit. You made me smile when I didn't feel like it. You made me think of you whenever I saw a stupid bunny on the street. You overtook all my thoughts..."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Why are you apologizing, hermosa?" He huskily spoke, his face getting closer to mine.

"You say you don't like feeling that way," I mumbled feeling embarrassed at my annoying high personality.

"I used to hate it," he said cupping my face with a tender touch. "But now, I love it."

The feelings of his lips on mine was something I had never felt before. They were so soft yet so desperate all in one. Keep in mind, I had never kissed anyone before. My cheeks were starting to burn up at the lack of experience I had but it was as if Zabdiel could tell and stroked my cheeks with his thumbs.

Something inside of me told me to pull away, that it wasn't right but I couldn't. It just felt so right and I think I wanted to feel this way forever.

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