Wings [Levi Daughter]

Chapter Fifty-Two

"Connie and Leon aren't the most silent sleepers." Armin said, chuckling.

Iris smiled, she placed her arms behind her head and laid back down.

"I thought four years of sleeping in the same roof, you'd get used to the snoring." Iris said, chuckling, and Armin did as well.

"So, what brings you out here?" Armin asked.

"Just relaxing... counting the stars." Iris shrugged. "I was already at five-hundred and eleven until you came and made me lost count."

"Oh, sorry about that."

"Nah, it's okay."

There was silence between the two and Iris continued to watch the stars. After a while, she closed her eyes and simply listened to the crickets and the wind.

"If you're going to sleep, you should get inside." Armin said.

"I wasn't sleeping." Iris sat up and faced him. "What brought you out here, Armin?"

"Nothing, I just want to get some air."

"Wasn't the air enough when you got out of the house?" Iris teased.

Armin sighed in defeat.

"Fine, you got me." He said. "But really, I went out to get some air, but then I saw you out here, alone... and I wanted to ask you something."

"What is it?"

"How are you?"

"Eh?" Iris raised a brow in confusion.

"I know that you're thinking a lot of things at the moment, I'm sure it's a lot of things to think about for just one person."

Iris stared at Armin, appalled to what he said. No one, aside from her father, ever asked her such question.

"To be honest... with all the things that I'm thinking right now, I feel like my head's going to explode." Iris answered.

"That bad huh."

"Yeah."

"I know that it's none of my business but why haven't you spoken to the Captain about this? I'm sure he's willing to talk about it."

"He's offered to talk about it, but with a lot on his plate, I really won't want to add this... and besides, if we even discuss about this, I'm pretty sure that he would just – well – go into my Dad."

"Well, he is." Armin chuckled.

"Is it wrong if I want to live for my own life?"

She's been thinking about this since the news of her having to make a successor. Armin thought as he saw the frustrated look on Iris' face.

"No... not really."

"It's not that I like kids, it's just... there so many things that I haven't done or seen for me to have a kid now... and to be honest, if I have a kid I want to because I decided to, not because of some responsibility."

"I understand... I don't think it would be fair for you and the child if such responsibility is placed on you both..."

"And I don't think it's fair for the kid if their only purpose is to be a vessel for the Founding Titan... to be Humanity's Safety Net... and, I don't want them to go through what I did – it's horrifying... having to eat my Mom for the sake of the Eldias' victory... everyday I'm haunted by her memories." She turned to Armin. "I'm sure Bertholdt's memories are haunting you too..."

"Yeah, it is..."

"How do you deal with that?"

"It's painful... to see these memories of Bertholdt... and to be honest, I haven't really found a way to 'deal with it'... just like Hange said, I'll be carrying Bertholdt and Erwin's name and legacy on my shoulders."