Damned

Chapter Thirty-Four

Sleep didn't come easily. I heard the voices from downstairs and it kept me on edge. Part of me expected the Police to come barreling through my room and arrest me on sight. The other part of me thought Sarah Good would come back and finish the job, taking out my whole family. I couldn't shut my brain off. It was hours before I finally cried myself to sleep. 

When I finally drifted to dreamland, it was worth it. At first, my dream shifted to a nightmare. I kept seeing flashes of Gran dead on the kitchen floor. It was dark and I was crying. Then, I heard a voice that sliced through the nightmare. It sounded like--

"Little Bird," the angelic and soft voice lead me out of the nightmare and into another dream. I moved forward, looking around as the scenery changed. We weren't in the kitchen anymore. Instead, we were in a lavender field. The rows of lavender bunches perfectly spaced out. The purple lavender was both soft and vivid. The sky was cobalt blue with not a cloud in sight. It wasn't too hot, although the sun was above us beating down. 

In the distance, there was a single weeping willow. I squinted, there was someone sitting under the tree, enjoying the cover of shade. I swallowed and walked towards the tree. The smell of lavender reminded me of Gran and how the scent always clung to her.

As I approached the tree I saw there were two wicker chairs and a small table in between them. On the table, a white cotton table clothes, a teapot, and two teacups. There was more lavender around the chairs, creating a circle. There was someone sitting in one of the chairs. It was Gran! She was wearing one of her best dresses, a multi-layers purple chiffon dress. There was a floppy hat resting on her head. 

"Little Bird, what took you so long?" She poured tea into the teacups, motioning me to sit. I adjusted the floral pillow that was in the chair and sat down. That's when I noticed I was wearing a floor-length floral dress. There was a black floppy hair on my head. 

"It took me a while to fall asleep," I confessed. I brought the teacup up to my lips, inhaling the gentle smell. Of course, the tea was lavender with a squeeze of lemon and a dash of sugar. I knew this because it was Gran's go to tea. "This isn't a dream, is it?" I asked her after taking a sip of the tea. She smiled coyly up at me, her eyes dazzling with a secret.

"No, it isn't. It's my way of saying goodbye. You are sleeping, but this is the world I created." I knew I couldn't have conjured such a place up. There were so many details, it all spelled out Gran. Her long hair was braided down, resting over her shoulder. She looked happy.

"Does this mean I can come visit you?" I set the teacup down, leaning forward. It would be perfect if I could still see her. Even if it wasn't in real life, this could be enough. Her eyes, a muted green, met my eyes. She put her hand over mine and gently pat it.

"Unfortunately, no. This will be goodbye." My heart sank and I felt like I was losing her all over again. This wasn't fair. I didn't want to say goodbye, I wanted her to come back with me. Or I could stay here with her. I wouldn't mind staying here, watching the lavender grow and drinking tea. "Please don't be sad," she didn't realize how hard a feat that was.

I wiped at my face, expecting to see tears. There weren't any, probably due to Gran. If she had created this place, she wouldn't want tears to exist. Still, it didn't take away the feeling.

"I can't live without you. Can't I stay here, with you?" I begged. She sighed, squeezing my hand. 

"This place is temporary. We're lucky we get to say goodbye here, most people don't get the chance. I only get one goodbye to the mortal world and I chose you, my Little Bird. Let's cherish this moment and not waste it on silly wonders about staying here. You are alive, so you must live."