SCARED (Adam Gontier Love Story)

Chapter 10

Barry smiles at me. Adam's kiss is still fresh on my mind, and I'm barely listening to what he says "Lara," he says, shoving my arm. "Tell us." I stare up at him, confused. "Huh?" Neil and Adam laugh, and Barry just looks annoyed. "Why do you always wear long sleeves?" I stare at him. Oh, god. I try to come up with a suitable lie, one that sounds realistic. "You're not allowed to lie," Neil says sarcastically. "That's why it's called a Truth." I finally decide. They're going to find out eventually, right? "I have a bad past, and I have an ugly body because of it," I explain. Neil raises his eyebrows, rolling his eyes. "Bullshit, you're hot, Lara." I blush as he says that.

"Prove it," Barry says to me, tapping the long sleeves of my pajamas. I shake my head. "No," I say firmly. "This isn't a dare, and I don't want... No." I check my phone for the time, and mutter a curse word under my breath. "Guys, I really have to go to sleep now, I'm not used to being up so late." Neil laughs, and Adam nods, standing up and going to bed himself. "Barry?" I say, starting to be fidgety. He nods and goes off to bed, too. I tuck my feet up and lie down on the chairs. Neil sighs. "Ah, fuck it. Fine." He goes off as well. Finally I'm left alone on the chair, with all four guys in their beds, of which there are only four.

When I wake up in the morning, Neil was sat on the floor, trying to peek up my sleeves while I slept. I pulled away from him, disgusted. "What the fuck?" I say. I hadn't sworn in a long time properly, but I had just woken. Brad laughs from the other side of the bus. I sit up and pull out my bag from under the seats as Neil stands up and walks away. I grab my makeup, shoes and clothes; which I decided on as a white shirt, black jeans and my cardigan. I carried them into the bedroom, dropped them on a little desk and went into the little bathroom. I applied my makeup carefully, and added thick eyeliner, to make myself look more part of the band. I brushed my hair down, and today I left it down, trying to seem more interesting.

I went back in the bedroom and quickly get dressed, but by the time I've got my jeans on, I realize that my shirt is gone. Someone must have taken it while I was in the bathroom. I put on my cardigan on top of my bare skin and pull it tight around me, as to not reveal my scars. "Guys, have you seen my shirt? It's disappeared.." I say as I walk in, gripping the cardigan as if it would save me from death. Brad nodded and opened his mouth to speak, but Neil shoved him in the chest. I squinted my eyes. "Where is it?" Neil sniggers at me, clearly finding this hilarious, but I feel like I'm having a panic attack. I take a step towards him, arm outstretched, and Barry comes up behind me, pulling off my cardigan, revealing me, stood cowering in my bra and jeans, all my scars on show.

Adam walks over quickly and pulls me into the bedroom before any of the guys really saw anything. "I found your shirt," he mutters, handing it to me, looking at the ground. I can't tell if it's in fear or just because I'm wearing just my bra. Only Alyssa has seen my scars, and she screamed and cried the first few times she saw them. "It's ok," I say quietly to him. "If you want to look, I mean. You can if you want." He looks up and stares me in the eye. He holds my wrist and rubs his thumb over some of the scars, and I flinch. "Can I? I just, I want to know how bad it is. Your legs, as well. Is that ok?" I look back at him and I nod, pulling away from his touch, shaky, to take off my jeans.

I stand there in my underwear, feeling vulnerable, and he puts his hands on my waist. It feels gentle, and for a weird reason, I like it. He didn't hate me, he didn't scream, he didn't even seem scared. He runs his palms over the scars on my hips, and I shiver. "You're so thin.." I stare down at the floor. He spends time looking over my body, and I feel less and less ugly the longer he stares. Eventually he looks back up at me. "The guys didn't see anything, I moved you too quickly for that. I'll leave you here for a minute while I go kill them, ok? I'll be back." He runs his hand over my cheek and leaves me standing there.

I quickly cover myself up entirely. I wear thick socks and I put on my gloves and my cardigan over the shirt of mine that Adam found. I smooth my hair down and sit against the wall on the floor, with my chin pressed up against my knees. I wish Adam didn't yell so much, it was going to ruin his voice. I hear shouting in the other room. "Barry, what the fuck were you thinking? She's not a fucking prostitute, ok? You need to pull your shit together. And you too, Neil. Don't sit there fucking smirking, I know you're behind this, you shit-faced idiot," Adam yells at the guys. "Dude, I tried to stop them," I hear Bead say in response to what I can only imagine as Adam's angry face. "Fuck off, Brad."

I stand up and go in, ignoring them all and picking up my purse, and carry it back to the bedroom, shutting the door and letting them continue. I shove in my earphones and play my favorite songs through them. I put my phone on the floor and take out the duct-taped pill bottle. I stare at it, turning it this way and that. I can't seriously be thinking about this, can I? "Put them down."