Stefan Salvatore's daughter ~ Miracle

74. Fire of anger rushing through my veins

I pick the bouquet up and pay it before exiting the shop. I run up toward another alley, make sure that nobody sees me before vamp-speeding to the graveyard. Two minutes later, I arrive there. I put a flower back in the bouquet as I see that it was falling down. At least, they are still in good shape. I take a deep breath in and out as I stare at the graveyard. I hate coming here... It reminds me of so many deaths, so many people that I lost in my life. But I want to "see" Uncle Ric. I miss him a lot... I enter the graveyard and walk up toward his grave. I know the way perfectly. I don't even need to look at the names on the gravestones. I knee in front of Uncle Ric's grave and place the bouquet next to it. I take my earphones off as I stare at the name on my uncle.

- Hey, Uncle Ric, how are you? I ask before letting a small pause, like the dead teacher was going to answer me. I know flowers aren't much your thing, but I promise you I will bring you a bottle of Bourbon one day, I say, lightly joking as I faintly smile. I'm sorry I haven't come see you for a long time, but so much happened lately. And you're not there to see it... Which is why I came, to fill you in with everything going on... And... also because I wanted to talk with my uncle for a bit, I say with a faint smile as I touch the grave stone. I don't know where to start... I... Well, Elena is a vampire, but I think you already know that. Her and I fought like we never did before and... I just feel like everything that is happening is because of her. But... I sigh as I lower my face as I stay silent for a small moment. Maybe I feel like that because she hates me and because she keeps trying to get the brothers, my family, to only see and be with her? I know she wants them for herself and attempts to make them forget about me. And it's annoying... But what am I supposed to do? I can't keep fighting her because if I do, I will go too far... And then, Dad and Damon will hate me for real. I could keep screaming at her, I could push and slap her again but what will it do? I stay silent for a moment, as I stare at the grave. I can still remember the teacher smiling, watching him drinking a glass of Bourbon at the Grill and correcting his copies, hearing and seing him teaching at school... I run my thumb over Alaric's name like it is my way to be closer to him. Anyway, let's talk about something else. Last time I came to see you, I was with Kyle. He's... He was my best friend, but not anymore. I was happy that he came. But now that I know the reason... He only came here for the necklace that dad offered me so he can save his fiancé, can you believe it? I ask to Alaric even though I know he won't answer me. I scoff and shake my head as my eyes are watering up. He used me... He lied to me. I mean when we are best friends you say everything to each other, you trust that person with your life and you want everything good to that person, right? I sigh and look down as I am already blinded by my tears. I can only see the color of the grave, but I can't read his name anymore. He used my weakness to have the answer he needed you know? He killed an innocent woman and traumatized a kid to prove me that he was ready to do anything to discover where the necklace is. He even almost stabbed me... I whisper with a shaky voice while shaking my head negatively. I can feel my throat tightening as it becomes harder for me to talk. But he backed off. I think a part of me still wonder if my friend could come back to his old self. But another part of me just want him away because whether he will go back to his old self, I won't be able to trust him like I used to anymore, I look up as I finally feel the tears rolling down. I breath shaking as my lips are shaking. I wipe my cheeks but new tears roll down, covering them. If you were still here, you'd probably hate him as much as Damon and dad hate him. When do you think I should tell to dad and Damon what happened? Because I want them to know, I want them to help me get out of this, but... I am just so mad and sometimes stubborn... Anyway... I fought with dad and Damon as well, you know? I even left home, can you believe it? Me, leaving home... I say as I look away and shake my head. I sniff sadly and wipe my cheeks again as more tears invades them. I would have went to your apartment but... I sigh heavily as a long silence takes place for a small moment while I shake my head, but you're not there, Uncle Ric. And I don't want to be alone. Damon and dad have been all over Elena, a bit more than usual lately and I just couldn't take it anymore. So I went to the motel where... I stop for a moment as I realize I haven't talk about Kol to Alaric. I sigh and crack a smile. Right, I didn't tell you about Kol either. I am staying at Kol's room, at the motel, in town and we... I made love with him. It was amazing. I mean not just what happened but that someone was there for me, I correct myself with a nervous tone, like the teacher was actually in front of me. I could already picture him laughing at me and my nervousness. I wasn't angry or scared or even sad for a whole night. I was fine and it didn't happen since a very long time... My shoulders were light, like all my problems just flew away, I recount to Uncle Ric, smiling as my tears slowly stop. I think I love him, Uncle ric. I know you would be upset that I am in love with an Original but... He makes me happy. Isn't it what is more important? I ask to my dead uncle before sighing. Why do I keep asking questions when I know I won't have any answers? I guess I just need to ask those questions even though I won't know what to do... I stare at the grave as my hand is still on it. I just want to think that just touching this stone makes me a bit closer to him. I wish you could be here, Uncle Ric. I miss you so much... every single days. I need my uncle and his advices. I miss your voice, seeing and hearing you teaching at school, seeing you smiling, crashing at your apartment and sleeping just for one night,... I wish I could use one of your hugs too. I just wish I could see you again... I know I will one day, I just hope that day will come soon. I love you, Uncle Ric. I'll come back to see you soon. I promise you, I put two fingers on my lips, placing a kiss on them before puting my fingers back on the gravestone and faintly smiling. It's just my way to give him a kiss and my love since I can't do it really...