The Collection

Unnatural

It was in his junior year when Caspian first kissed a boy. 

 It wasn't who he'd ever thought would kiss him, but he sure as hell hoped it wouldn't be the last time. 

 Caspian had spent years of his life feeling alone in the world, not being able to express how he truly felt towards other boy's in his class. He couldn't go on first dates or share first kisses, he couldn't boast about his recent crushes or how Tyler from 3rd period would look at him. 

 But Luke was a baseball player, handsome with chiseled features and dirty blond hair and thin lips that stretched to make the most beautiful smile with dimpled cheeks. Just thinking about him made him shift on the edge of the bed. 

 Luke would have never talked to Caspian, who stayed away from the popular athletes, who lived in his own world with his life long friends.

 But the two were paired together for an AP U.S. History assignment where they had to create a musical parody of a historical event. Of course, they were chosen at random. 

 Luke was known to be charismatic and bold and arrogant, but only because he knew he was handsome. He knew other people wanted him so desperately, so that made life so much easier for him. Natural beauty made him bounce as he walked, unafraid of the judgmental eyes that followed. It made him funny and charming, always with a smirk on his face when you talked to him, as if he knew his presence was making you lustful.

 He loved that. 

 Caspian always wondered what life would be like with a face like his. Now Caspian wasn't ugly by any means, his beauty was more subtle, unnoticeable until you actually start having a conversation with him. This made finding relationships especially difficult, given he was an introvert. 

 Despite Luke's many talents and advantages, he was also manipulative and rude, not caring for anyone who wasn't as beautiful or athletic as him. He'd make fun of people behind their backs, spread rumors. There was one that always stuck with Caspian, a rumor Luke spread about one of the openly gay kids in school. 

 The boy was asking for it, Luke would say, he's always wearing jeans too tight and makeup that makes him look even more disgusting. These words jabbed into Caspian's chest every time he remembered Luke saying them. Whenever these things were said, Caspian would pretend he hadn't heard them. 

That way Luke could stay as perfect and beautiful as he expected him to be. The beginning of the project was nerve racking. Caspian picked every single word that came out of his mouth consciously, making sure not to say anything stupid or irrelevant or anything that would make Luke dislike him. 

 He sat in certain ways, lifting up his shoulders and straightening his back, being more expressive, laughing at every joke Luke made, even if they weren't funny. 

 That's the thing, Caspian realized, about people who are both beautiful and funny. They aren't actually funny. We laugh at their attempted jokes because we owe them that much for blessing us with their presence. 

 No one would ever dare to not laugh at a handsome man's joke, the world just doesn't work like that. But it was more than just the jokes Luke said that made Caspian believe the athlete wanted him. 

 It started with the small things that could have just been accidental. For one, when they sat next to each other in history to draw up some ideas for songs, Luke leaned so much to the side, so close to Caspian. 

 Yes, this isn't anything special, even Caspian knew that. But when Luke was explaining a horribly hilarious idea of a song with his arms crossed and body perked up gleaming, his leg brushed against Caspian's.