Chapter Thirteen

2 0 0
                                    

"How does it look?" Kali calls.

I open the door and come out. No longer Teagan, but Spider-Gwen! If Spider-Gwen got her outfit by pairing an overpriced Spider-Gwen hoodie and a skirt found at a thrift store and only had a vague notion of what she looks like.

Kali gives me a once over. "The skirt could go shorter."

"Of course, it could," I answer looking at the hemline that's already pretty far up my thigh. I don't hike it up. I might have tights on, but that didn't mean I wanted to be afraid of going up the stairs for the entire night.

She shuts the bathroom door behind her. "Make sure to undo your hair," she calls through the door. "You can't have a braid in the entire night."

I pat the top of my head but only tighten my hair.

When Kali comes out, she's in short brown shorts, a brown t-shirt, and a jacket pulled over the ensemble. Best of all is the huge squirrel tail tied at her waist.

"Great right?" she asks doing a twirl.

"I think Miss America would have been easier. You're going to get that tail ripped off."

She waves my worries off. "Miss America is too on the nose for me and my Domino costume wasn't working out. There's no way I'm walking around in all that tight black. Did you talk Finn into being Spiderman?"

"Nope," I answer. "He's coming as a spider."

She drops her hands from the tail. "Come again?"

"Yup. I'm helping him get it together right before the party. He thinks he's funny."

She snorts.

"I wanted to do a couple's costume and this is what he agreed to. We'll be interesting at least. I'm going to have to practice my make-up."

"Oh yeah!" Kali runs out of her room and returns with her make-up bag. She pulls out an eyeshadow palette, a brush, and eyeliner. All in different shades of pink. She also reveals a bottle of magenta glitter.

I eye it all with what I hope is a don't you dare expression on my face. I wore make-up but kept it simple. "I don't think Spider-Gwen wears glitter."

"But Spider-Teagan will. You use this brush to put on your eyeshadow after you apply it. It's going to look great. Are you sure you're going to be able to do it yourself?"

I'm not sure, but I nod anyway. I'm planning on having a talk with Finn that I didn't want Kali to interrupt before the party. I'm nervous enough already without her in the next room waiting to put make-up on me.

"Make sure to use these three colors starting with the darker one." She points them out. "And check that link I sent you."

She looks at my hem again with a disapproving glance but doesn't say anything this time. "I think it looks good. Me?"

I give her a thumbs up and go back into the bathroom to change into my normal clothes. I come out as she's setting her squirrel tail on top of her own shed costume.

I check the time, it's nearing the arrival of her mom and I'd rather avoid her. Visiting Kali's mom meant a lot of sneaking around. She supported Kali but also maintained a no-girls-in-the-house-yes-even-your-best-friend mantra. I put the Spider Gwen sweater on over my t-shirt for the ride to my house.

Kali looks at me, her eyes narrowed. "Can you put the hood up?" she asks.

I flip the hood over my hair the way I'll be wearing it at the party. Kali leans close to my face and tugs the band off the end of my braid.

"Seriously the hood is going to make your curls look awesome. You can always pull it back if you get annoyed."

Kali pulls her fingers through my hair to loosen it and has it fan on my shoulders. Her fingers barely touch the back of my neck but it feels like jolts of electricity through me. My body flushes and a warmness spreads in my belly.

She fixes my hood and she meets my eyes. "This is going to look awesome with your make-up," she says. She doesn't seem to think anything is off.

I smile and nod in agreement because I'm not sure I can say anything else. This gets her attention.

"You okay?" she asks, eyebrow raised. "No arguments?"

"Yeah," I say and shake my head. "Got dizzy. I'm probably hungry."

She squeezes my hand and I try to pull mine away in the most not obvious way possible. "My mom won't be back for a few more minutes. We can risk a snack." She's already reaching for the door handle.

"No, it's okay." I wave her off. My voice sounds shaky to me but I don't think Kali notices. "I'll get food at home. Thanks for helping me with my costume and this." I lift the makeup.

"No problem. See you tomorrow Teagan."

She holds the door open for me and I walk to my bike.

Shit. Shit. Shit. I think in rhythm with my footfalls to my bike. I mount it with shaky hands and pedal off.

The feeling of her fingertips is like a brand against my neck. It won't go away. I try to let the cold take away the warmth, but my body doesn't want to let it go.

This cannot happen again.

I think of Finn's hands on my skin, in my hair, against my stomach and try to relax. I know the feelings for Kali are residual. Dwelling on my sexuality and plans for after graduation has made me tense in the last few weeks. Every time the three of us get together, we talk about how much fun college is going to be and every lunch period, I feel sicker and sicker. At night, I took to thinking about what if I did come out as bi and Kali's okay with it? I think about what if Finn isn't in the picture. I knew most high school relationships didn't work out and it's possible ours wouldn't. I think of the boys and girls I could meet in college and how coming out won't be terrible. I then think of Kali's bad reaction to my news. About how I kept this from her and lied to her for so long. How I didn't trust her to accept me. Those worries make me cringe and my stomach hurts even more.

I push it all out of my head for which feels like a daily occurrence now. Residual feelings. That's all. I need to stop worrying about what could happen in college and focus on what's happening now. I pedal fast and focus on the burn in my legs and the wind against my face. 

Best-Case ScenarioWhere stories live. Discover now