Carter Ortese is Trouble - completed (The Boys #1)

Chapter 35: Carter

I curl my fingers tightly into a fist. "Can I wait?"

He nods. "If—" he cuts himself off. "When she wakes up, if she asks for you, you can visit her."

My jaw works, but Emma wouldn't want me to fight the hospital staff, not when the person who deserves it isn't the one sitting in front of me. I swallow hard, trying to smother the fire licking my skin. "Okay. Sure."

I want to tell him that of course she'll ask for me, but I turn away instead. I choose a corner of the waiting room, lit with bright burning lights that barely cast a shadow. I'm anxious, and my eyes flick to any movement happening between the staff. Whenever a nurse or doctor comes out, my ears hone in on bits of their conversation, anything to try to get information. Only one other person waits here, and their cap is pulled low over their eyes. For all I know, they are asleep.

Even as time passes and the staff comes and goes, I hear nothing about Emma. Nothing.

I switch between tapping on the end of my chair and rubbing my hands against my jeans. This is too much. There's a hollow ache rising inside me, worry over losing someone important. It gnaws at me.

Why did no one ever tell me it hurts to love someone this much?

Did my mom feel like this when it was my dad? Did she hurt like this when she waited at this hospital, waiting to hear what had happened to Adam? Will it end the same way for me?

I slam my eyes shut, because it can't end like that. I have so many things left unsaid, so many days that I want to live through with her in them.

As if being summoned by my thoughts, my mom walks through the automatic glass doors and looks around for me. Her eyes meet mine, and I stand up. I don't get more than three steps, because she charges at me and wraps me up in a hug.

"I'm here for you, Carter. I'm here." She grabs the back of my head and digs her fingers into my skin, pressing against me.

Something breaks inside me, and all the rage floods out through the tears I've been biting back. "She has to be okay," I choke out. "I can't—"

"Shh, I know." My mom rubs my back as I cling onto her. If anyone knows how I'm feeling right now, it's her. She's felt this pain before. She's been here, and that makes me feel even worse.

No one should ever have to go through this.

"I won't tell you it will be fine, but I am here for you, okay?"

I nod into her shoulder.

"No lies between us ever. I won't give you false promises I can't keep."

"I know." I pull back.

She wipes the tears off my face and presses her fingers softly into my shoulders. "Have they told you anything?"

"No, they said they can't."

My mom nods. "Let me see if I can get anything else out of them. You sit, okay?"

I find myself doing as she says, despite feeling a thrum of energy. I'm emotionally spent, but physically my adrenaline is still spiking hard. My mom wanders over to the counter and asks the night nurse some questions. She keeps a calm, even tone, but has a bit of command behind her voice.

My eyes wander outside the large windows, and I watch as the flashing lights of another ambulance roll up. Two people jump out the back and wheel an older man in on a gurney. He's hooked up to some kind of oxygen and keeps reaching for something, though I don't know what.

"We have you, Mr. Sams. We'll make sure to inform Susan about what happened."

"Please," his voice comes as a harsh whisper.

The EMT leans over with a small curve to his lips, almost looking conspiratorial. "If she doesn't drive herself here, I'll get her. I'll drag her if I have to." He winks at Mr. Sams, and that makes the older man settle down. They wheel him the rest of the way through the double doors, calling out some numbers to the awaiting hospital staff. In another few moments, they come back outside and jump into the ambulance,  heading off again.

Like clockwork, efficient and fast. As quickly as they come, they go, but they try to save lives. And maybe tonight, they saved Emma's too.

My mom sinks beside me and lets out a harsh breath. "Well, I didn't get any more information, but I got his number."

"What?" I gawk at her.

"I didn't ask for it. He gave it to me." She pushes her hair behind her ears and lets out a small laugh. It's more nerves than humor. "You'd think he'd know better than to ask under these circumstances, but I guess if you work in an ER, you don't really meet people at the best times in their lives."

My jaw is completely unhinged.

"Don't look at me like that. I haven't really dated anyone since your father, and well, maybe it's time." She shrugs. "But let's not think about that now. Let's think about Emma. She needs all the good vibes she can get." She grabs my hand in hers.

I let out a breath and press my eyes shut. "I don't know what to do now."

"We wait, and we'll keep waiting. We'll wait as long as we need to."

I swallow. "What if waiting feels like the wrong thing?"

"What feels like the right thing, then?"

"I don't know. I feel like I should be doing something to help her."

"Carter, you know—"

"There's nothing I can do. I've done all I can. I'm doing all I can. I know. It's a broken record inside my head, but I have this feeling there's something more I need to do." My foot taps against the ground.

"When you figure out what that is, we'll be here and ready. Do you want me to get us some coffee from the cafeteria?" She stifles a yawn. "I'm going to get us some coffee." My mom stands and squeezes my shoulder once more before taking off down the hallway. I don't miss the sideways glance the night nurse gives her.

I try to imagine her seventeen years younger, pregnant without knowing it, walking the same path to get coffee from the same cafeteria because she was waiting to hear the news about her boyfriend. Was Adam Ortese going to survive the night after the accident? He came to the hospital barely alive, which was more than his brother had. But it ended the same way. There was too much swelling in his brain, and the doctors said they did everything they could.

I take out my phone and think what I should say to Des. I need to tell him what's happening, because I'm freaking out in a way that my mom won't be able to fix, but Des might be able to. I type and erase my text numerous times, and I'm about to hit send when the sliding glass doors open again.

I don't need to know what they look like to understand who they are. Emma Williams' parents just walked in. I curl my fingers into a fist as I watch Henry Williams stomp up to the desk. I thought her parents would be wearing masks of concern, but that is not what describes the look on their faces. Henry Williams looks purely annoyed and full of rage. Her mother is resentful and somehow apathetic.

I should sit idly by. I should let this go. I shouldn't make a scene, because they haven't seen me yet, and for all I know, Emma's parents don't know what I look like. But I find myself standing up anyway, despite all the internal warnings screaming at me not to, and I walk straight toward them.

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What would you say to Henry Williams right now?