Spencer reid x depressed/suicidal/abused reader

Chapter four

-blu-pov-
we get to his place and i step out of the car weakly, leaning on the side door. he comes over to help me and i shake my head.

"i-ive got it."

"Are you sure? I can-"

"i said i got it."
i push myself up and limp to the door. we get inside.

"where's the bathroom?"
he gives me the directions of it and i go to the bathroom, falling to my knees and tears fill my eyes and i try and hold my breath so i can calm down. i grab the small bag on my hip, pouring out the contents, razor blades, and pills fall out on the floor and i scramble panicky for the right things. i grab a few pills and swallow them quickly with a bit of water from the sink. i pull off the mess of tattered clothes im wearing and turn on the shower so it can heat up. i put the pills back in the bag and take out one razor, getting in the burning hot shower, the drops of water leaving red marks as it hits my skin. i get a good hold of the razor and bring smoothly across my thighs and stomach, under the curve of my breasts. after a few minutes all the blood on my body has washed down the drain. i get out, using a black towel to dry off and i go to the door, cracking it open.

"hey.. do you have some clothes i can borrow.?"

"yeah-uh one second."
he walks away and comes back with a long sleeve button up shirt and some sweatpants.

"Sorry, I don't really have any uh- feminine clothes."
i nod and take them.

"thanks.."
i shut the door, finding a brush and going through my hair quickly. i finish and pull on the shirt, buttoning it up, slipping the collar button and the first one beneath it. it goes to almost my knees, so i fold the pants for later. i wrap my bag in the pants and walk out, going to the living room and setting my stuff under the bed. spencer walks out and sees me just as i stand up, is cheeks and face flush red and he looks down and around awkwardly.

"I-uh-I came out here to-to tell you that you can have the-a the bed and I can sleep on the couch, ok?"
i shake my head.

"that'd be mean of me, i can sleep on the floor, here."
he tilts his head looking at me confused.

"How can it be rude if I'm offering it to you?"
i sigh slightly and look down, then back at him.

"why don't we just share?"
his cheeks turn a light shade of pink and he turns around shaking his head.

"Uh-Ok, the-a, the room is this way."
i follow him and we get settled. him on the left, and me on the right.

"Goodnight sawyer."
he says, i whisper.

"night.. and it's blu."

-Spencer-Pov-
I smile to myself when I hear her name. Obviously I knew her name wasn't sawyer, and I'm happy she trusts me even a little bit, just enough so I can know her name.