No Strings Attached

I

I lay in the dark, the faint glow of the stars painted on my ceiling casting a serene atmosphere in my room. My father, a lenient figure when it came to my personal space, always deferred to my stepmother's preferences. She had longed for a daughter but was unable to conceive, and thus she was eager to create a strong bond with me. Despite my fondness for her, forming and maintaining relationships has always been a challenge for me. The only constant in my life was my best friend, Elizabeth Wright, and her boyfriend, Joseph Taylor. I struggled to connect with others and make friends. Lizzie made valiant attempts to push me out of my shell by inviting me to gatherings and introducing me to her social circles, but my introverted nature made it difficult to forge new connections. Eventually, she surrendered, realizing that she couldn't force me to embrace the idea of new people in my life. I found solace in observing others and occasionally intervening in their lives. The rare occasion I do meet someone new, it was only for their benefit. If I encountered someone nearing the presence of their destined partner, I would offer a gentle nudge to set them on the path to love. Despite the gratitude I received for creating these fated connections, I preferred to fade into the background once my role was fulfilled. I often pondered the reasons behind my reluctance to engage with others. Perhaps it was rooted in shyness or a fear of the pain of losing loved ones, a feeling I experienced during a period in my life when my parents separated and my young brain could not comprehend. It's possible that I am simply more comfortable navigating life as a solitary figure. The reasons remain elusive to me.

My body finally woke up, a groan escaping my lips, feeling the weight of another school day looming ahead. I shifted my gaze to the clock on my dull bedside table, the red digital numbers flashing 6:27. Mornings were never my favorite, and the thought of facing the hustle and bustle of the school halls filled me with a sense of dread. The constant chattering of friends walking among themselves and the tangled mess of red and gold strings littered the air. I do try to ignore the strings, but I can't help my curiosity about who has found their other half and who is still waiting. I got up, tucked my sheets and blanket into the mattress, and headed for the bathroom. I stared at myself in the mirror for a minute, wondering how I could attract less attention today. I combed my long, amber hair and wished for a haircut. I constantly debated putting more effort into my appearance, but it seemed too much work for a tiring early morning. The early bird does not catch the worm. I don't know how Lizzie does it, waking up every morning to do a full face of makeup with a grin on her face. To be fair, she has someone she loves and always wants to make sure she can present herself. Joseph loves Lizzie regardless of her appearance. I'm sure she could wear a day-old pair of sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt, and he would still be fond of her. I reached for a large hoodie adorned with a striking dragon print, pairing it with a comfortable pair of denim jeans. Slipping on my backpack, I took a deep breath and prepared to face another day at school.

I prefer walking to school instead of taking the bus. Listening to music and getting lost in my thoughts of recent comics I read felt more peaceful than sitting in a dirty bus. The clouds crowded the sky, with the sun softly peeking through. The wind whistled through the trees as autumn crept around the corner. My favorite time of year. Snuggling into a blanket with the soft illumination of candles and "The Nightmare Before Christmas" running in the background. Autumn is the perfect time of year to spend alone. It's not like I spend every time of the year with someone. I used to spend time with Lizzie when we were kids, but as she grew closer to Joseph, we began to spend less time during Halloween. She does try to invite me to Halloween movie marathons with her and Joseph, but feeling like a third wheel felt miserable. I shouldn't knock it til I try it, but I would prefer to spend the time alone.

The eerie feeling of high school crept over me. As Veronica Sawyer once said, college will be paradise if I'm not dead by June. Senior year is here, and it's only a matter of time until I graduate. Exploring the world is a dream of mine. Staying in town with the memories of my childhood is something I wish to get away from. I love Lizzie; she will always be my best friend, but my restraints in this town make me feel miserable. Once I graduate, I am gone from this small town of Paront, Oregon.