Aliyah pov
I woke up 3am and wore black sweatpants and a black hoodie with black slides
"Jordan wake up" nigga won't move a muscle. I shook him again but no sigh of movement.
"Jordan aisha's looking for you"
Nigga's eyes flew open "Where?!?" I burst out laughing
"Not funny liyah"
Aisha is my cousin she literally lives on the other side of the world
But she vists me a lot and Jordan got a crush on her
"Why the hell did you wake me up at 3am hoe"
"Shut up and get dressed we going to the park"
He wore black nike tracks and slides
"Aight you ready?" I asked him
"Yeah let's go"
At the park
"You aight" Jordan asked as we sat on the swings
"Yeah am good"
"No you not good I can see it through your eyes liyah, what's up?
"Ever felt like you ain't shit? Like no one gives a fuck about you? Ever felt like you could just dissappear and go to a world that you feel accepted in?"
"Well most of the time yes, but you know I do some shit to get my mind off shit. You try something, like painting?
"Yeah prolly spray painting but I know it won't work" I frowned
"Liyah talk to me please" he pleaded
"Aight" I lit up a blunt, yeah I got a blunt in my pocket what the fuck is up?
"I feel empty, I feel trapped, like I could choke and die any minute now. I always have a heavy heart on me for no fucking reason and that shit hurts bruh, a lot" I said as my voice started cracking
"Liyah, I know you're hurting but at least let me help you out. You keep pushing me away and I can't deal with that right now. You know I can't"
He was right. He just got his heart broken by some stiff built ass girl who he been fucking with and me being all emotional ain't helping bruh.
We stayed in a calming silence
"I got MDD"
"What?" He looked at me
"I got major Depressive Disorder"
"But how? You never showed any sighs! Or I haven't been noticing!! Oh my god Liyah am sorry" he got up hugging me and going back to his swing besides me
"Its aight. Plus its not your fault, I just got caught up in thinking a lot and..."
"And what?"
"I got back into cutting"
He looked at me with tears falling down his face
"Liyah, you promised me you would stop"
Flashback to a few months ago
"Liyah promise me that you'll stop"
"I promise "
Flashback over
He had caught me cutting and made me promise that I'll stop
"I'm sorry Jor I didn't know what to do"
"You could've just called me bruh" He said raising his voice are me
"I'm sorry for shouting but I can't see you like this. It breaks my heart Liyah"
"I'll try to stop. This time am for real I'll look for help like therapy sessions or sumn"
"Thank you now let's go home before your mom notices we gone"
I checked my phone
4:45 am
"Yeah finish that and let's go" He said referring to the fifth blunt we smoked since we came here
I'm when I tell you I am high, best believe that bruh
I couldn't even stand from how heavy my head felt
Jordan on the other had was giggling at the movement of the swing
"Aight I'm done lets go" He stood up and put out his hand, I grabbed it and we stumbled our asses home getting in the room by the balcony.
We didn't waste no time getting to bed and it was lights out the minute the head touched the pillow
Another wack chapter but ey at least I tried
