But You Promised (ON HOLD)

Chapter 10

Julie looked like she knew something. She took a sip of her juice and looked down.

"What is it? Are they really hiding something from me?" I said feeling a lump in my throat.

"Aiden and Aleena have been on and off lately. One minute they are so close the next they are pushing each other away. I think they recently got their feelings together and started dating. I'm so sorry my love, I did not know that Aiden did all of this for you and then started talking to Aleena." She said getting up and giving me a hug.

I wiped the tear that fell and got myself together. I can't believe that he would do that and not even talk to me or tell me. He shouldn't have to hide this and neither should Aleena. If they wanted to date I don't want to be the one to stop them.

"Thanks Mrs. S, I needed to know what was going on. I was honestly really worried about him. But now that I know he's with Aleena he should be alright. Anyways I just remembered I have a thing later on in the afternoon and I should really get home and get ready. I'll talk to you later bye." I hugged her and left before she could try to tell me to stay.

I couldn't believe that Aiden and Aleena are really dating. And hiding this from me. But most importantly Aiden just told me he loved me and now he's with someone else? It's like, he doesn't really feel love for me because if he did, he wouldn't be dating Aleena he would be dating me. This is exactly why I can't trust boys.

I walked home with my head down so that my nosey neighbours don't know I'm crying. I decide to spend the rest of the day in my bed.

I walked into my room and started undressing. Looking at my body, more tears fell. "This is why Aiden didn't pick you. Look at you, fat and full of scars and stretch marks" The little voice in my head said.

She was right so there was no point in trying to argue with her. I just cried a little harder, knowing that I will never be what Aiden wants in a girl. Not with these huge thighs and this huge stomach and stretch marks and scars everywhere. I'm not sexy and Aiden knows that. That's why he's out with Aleena and not me. I put on my favourite t-shirt and grabbed my special blue box.

I sat on my bed and looked at the box. I got this box in grade 4 from a friend of mine at the time. He had cancer and he told me that I should keep one special thing in there because that's what he kept in his box. So I did. I kept my razors in there. The only difference is that in his box, he kept hope and strands of his long brown hair that he lost fighting cancer.

I had more razors before but once I did something stupid that winded me up in the hospital, Aiden made me throw it out. So now I have this red one I bought from the dollar store that recently burnt down. It's so pretty there are little tiny stars on it.

I closed my eyes and felt the tears roll down my face. I took out the razor and softly brushed it against my wrist.

As my skin split opened I remembered what some kid told me when he saw my wrist. "Sideways for attention, long ways for results". The thing is, I cut both ways. And no results happen. I reached over and grabbed my phone. I started playing some music. I then made another cut that opened two more cuts. More tears fell down my face and I just couldn't stop.

1 cut

Aiden why did you have to lie to me and make me believe I was actually wanted?

2 cuts

Aleena why did you pretend to be some super nice girl but just use me to get closer to Aiden?

3 cuts

Why am I still here?

I stopped and got up and went to my bathroom to grab some paper and wash my blade off with some water. I watched as my blood went down the drain. Man how I wish that was me going down there.

I looked down at my wrist seeing the blood slowly pour out of each new cut. I got a warm washcloth and put it on it. The burning sensation felt like hell but I was use to it. There was still a little bit of blood dripping down but it wasn't as much as before. I cleaned up my sink area of all my blood so that my mom and brother don't suspect a thing. I went back into my room and climbed on my bed placing my blade back in its box and putting it under my pillow.

I cried my self to sleep once again for the 4th time this week.
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Yup I'm back! This chapter was a little hard to write but I got it done! Schools out for the next 2 months so I have a lot of time to write. I believe this book should be done by........ I'm not sure🤔
But hopefully soon. So yeah !

Vote, comment and recommend this book to your friend, your friends friend anyone you could think of😂❤️ I love y'all so much for your constant support!