One's Greatest Fall

13th Fall

Equality, Pride and Acceptance

A/N: This chapter contains a very sensitive issue. Do not hold this against me. This is just my thoughts. Ito yung ipinaglalaban ko sa maraming tao. At isa sa mga ipinaglaban ko sa family ko. I love my characters so much and I want them to be one of those many voices para sa mundong kinabibilangan ko. Again.. this is just my cents. Please, go to/wait for the next chapter kung mahina ang pang-unawa mo.

Okay. You've been warned.

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"Anong sasabihin at iisipin ng pamilya ko kung nalaman nila na pumatol ako sa isang tulad mo? Na pumatol ako sa isang kagaya mo, Bea. At hinding-hindi matatanggap ng maraming tao lalo na ng pamilya ko. Naiintindihan mo?"

And there was patience cut off.

Mabilis kong binitawan ang kamay ni Deanna. Hindi ko alam kung bakit galit na galit ako ngayon. Is it because Bea just looked at the ground without even fighting for herself or is it my pride being trampled?

"Stop. That's enough." pigil ang mabibigat kong paghinga. Tama ba 'tong ginagawa ko? Na nangialam ako?

Bea looked at me, tapos nalipat iyon sa likod ko. At alam kong si Deanna ang huling nakita nya. Nakita ko kung paano bumigay ang mga balikat ni Bea nang mapagtantong narinig namin lahat.

"I'm sorry for meddling but I will not be sorry for stepping out. I heard it. You were almost degrading the society that I belong to."

Jho almost bit her lips upon realizing that maybe what she said was beyond. "I.. I wasn't meant to degrade--"

"Can't you see? This girl in front of you is already hurting just because she loves you. And you're killing her because of what? Because she does belong to a world that's not right in the eyes of others? Lalo na sa paningin mo!"

Humakbang ako ng isa para makalapit sa kanya. I don't mean to be this emotional but I couldn't help myself! And dmn.. my unfiltered mouth once again!

"You know what, Jho? I think you were amazing. But now.. I'm thinking twice about it."

Ngayon ay pinantayan na nito ang tingin ko sa kanya pero nakikita ko pa rin ang lumalambot nitong ekspresyon.

"Hindi ko sinasadyang masabi iyon. Pero walang makakapagpabago ng isip ko. I won't ever.. ever make a mistake again by choosing her. I won't let it ruin me and my career."

I grin. "You wanna know why there's still a pride march that's been celebrating here in our country? It's because there are still someone who think just like you. For me, it isn't a celebration anymore but more like pleading. And it shouldn't be like that!"

I stepped one more. Dahil mas bumibigat ang pakiramdam ko sa kausap. "Do you know why there are a lot of people like me who are still hiding behind their closets? Why there are still a lot of people like me who can't walk safely or freely without thinking na bigla na lang may mananakit sa kanila.. sa amin? It's because there are still people who see and thinks lowly of us just like you."

Halos pigilin ko na ang sarili ko na duruin sya. Nasasaktan ako para sa sarili ko at para kay Bea. Nasasaktan ako para kay Deanna. I know how Jho means alot to Deanna and Bea. And to think na ganito pala ang nasa isipan nya tungkol sa sekswalidad ay awang-awa na ako sa dalawa.

"If you can't accept people like us then it is better to keep mum about it. Do not inflict more pain. You don't know how much we are giving in this battle that we don't even know how to win it."

Kitang-kita ko kung paano tumulo ang luha ni Jho. I do not mean to make her cry. I butt in to fight for my pride. For our pride.

"I'm sorry. Hindi ko sinasadya."

Tumango ako sa paumanhin nya. Wala akong sinabi doon dahil alam kong para kay Bea iyon.

"Jho, you should never stop loving a person just because of the gender. Equality should be seen in our very own eyes' reflection and acceptance should begin within ourselves and not with anyone else." I know the struggle, Jho. At alam kong nakakatakot sumugal at doon ka natalo ng sarili mo. I wanted to tell her that but I kept it to myself.

Tinalikuran ko si Jho at ngayon ay lumapit kay Bea. I lifted her chin up and smiled at her.

"Bea.."

Just by calling her name she started pouring her tears. And it breaks me. It was silent but I know it's more painful than any sobs.

"You don't deserve a person who's gonna make you feel that you are not even worth a fight. Trust me, you are worth more than a war. You don't deserve a person who's gonna make you feel you're two different worlds apart."

She nodded. As she mouthed "thank you".

"Remember what I said yesterday? You don't deserve someone who comes back, you deserve someone who never leaves."

I hugged her. That's the least thing I could do for her after protecting her almost-broken soul.

"Jho, I will not say sorry sa lahat ng sinabi ko. The two of you need to take a break and talk it out without trying to hurt one another. Then decide. And uphold your decision. Don't worry, your secret's safe with us."

Mabilis akong tumalikod sa kanila at bago pa ako makalayo ay narinig kong nagsalita si Deanna.

"That's the kind of girl I chose to like. She knows where she stands, and she knows how to stand for herself and for others. Now, ate Jho, you know the reason why we are so amazed by her. It's the magic of her unfiltered mouth."

Naiimagine ko nang nakangiti pa itong kinausap sila. Maya-maya ay nasa tabi ko na sya.

"I'm so proud right now."

"Kasi? I'm the kind of girl you chose to like?" mocking her. Just to lift up my palpitating heart.

"Yeah. And because you are not ashamed to fight for what you believe in."

Nilingon ko sya. "It's the only thing I can do to protect the world where I belong to. The world that many people try to rip it off."

"You did a great job, Ysa."

"But I am worried. I am worried about Jho and Bea. I think I'd regret it if they--"

"You were so fierce there. Trust me. They will be fine. I know Ate Jho didn't mean to be harsh but I also know what she said was below the belt already."

Really, I just hope that I've enlightened Jho even for a little. Now, I'm gonna ask for Sisi's help.