anatomy

Chapter 6

That night, Emilia barely gets any sleep. She hasn't been able to stop thinking about her revelation, and has spent most of the day in some sort of daze, trying to work through her thoughts. Even though it's obvious now that she likes Dr. Kishitani, that doesn't mean that she understands even that, having never felt this seriously about anyone before. She likes him, but what does that really mean for her, and what does it mean now that she knows that?

Emilia barely gets any sleep, and when she does, she has weird dreams that she can't quite remember or piece together when she wakes up, sometimes involving Dr. Kishitani, sometimes involving Erika and Walker, sometimes involving Miss Kujiragi, and sometimes involving the girls at school surrounding her and calling her the teacher's pet. She can never piece together all of the details of the dreams, but they leave her feeling uneasy and anxious, and by the time she has to get up for school, she's only got an hour or two of sleep total, and she's exhausted.

But even now, she wouldn't dream of skipping.

As soon as Erika comes up to her, rather than greeting her, she says, "Whoa, you look out of it! Were you up all night or something? Did you start reading and you just couldn't stop?"

At her side, Walker says, "Yeah, I'd definitely understand something like that. I haven't gotten a decent night's sleep in years. You kind of get used to it, actually!"

"You shouldn't be encouraging unhealthy habits to a newcomer, Yumachi," Erika replies.

"What, like you get decent sleep?"

"What I do and do not do is completely irrelevant! Emicihi is still new , and that's my point. You can't just encourage that."

"But can she really say she's a true fan if she doesn't dedicate her every waking moment to it? And that includes increasing how many waking moments she has!"

The two go back and forth like this for some time, not giving Emilia much chance to get a word in edgewise, but she doesn't mind. As always, she enjoys hearing the way they talk to each other, and it serves as a good enough distraction right now. When she finally does have a chance to speak, she says, "I'm really sorry, I haven't had much of a chance to read anything you guys gave me lately."

"Aw, really?" Erika frowns, but only for a moment. "That's alright, though. Take your time!"

"A good story is timeless, so it'll have the same effect on you even if you wait on it," Walker adds.

"But that begs the question! What were you actually up late over?"

"Yeah, you really look like you didn't get any sleep at all!"

"It couldn't have been studying, could it? You're a total curvy genius!"
"I don't really see what curvy has to do with it, Erika."

"Because you clearly don't understand the kind of character she is, Yumachi ."

"No, I understand her character perfectly. I think you don't understand-"

Before they can actually reach a consensus and turn their attention back to Emilia, it's time to go to class, so they don't actually get to interrogate her about until lunch.

"I'm sorry that Yumachi couldn't get his shit together this morning," says Erika, "but now you can give us all the details about your scandalous late night!"

"I'm choosing not to argue with you even though I definitely want to," is all that Walker says.

"There wasn't anything scandalous," Emilia says, and prays that they can't tell that she's blushing right now.

"And yet your cheeks are turning the most adorable shade of pink right now!" Erika croons, and she knows that her prayers have gone unanswered. "So? What is it? What are you hiding from us?"

No matter how she tries to deny it, Erika stays right on her heels, with Walker making what contributions he can, though it often feels like he's straying further off topic. Emilia is grateful for that, at least, because it makes it easier for her to dodge the subject throughout lunch. If she can just make it until the end, then she'll have more time to avoid the subject, and possibly come up with a decent lie.

"Ugh, it's time for class already!" Erika groans, once lunch has come to an end. "I can't believe you managed to dodge me for that long, Emichi! What sort of dark secrets are you hiding? I can't stand the suspense, you know! Unless..."

The slow smile that breaks out across her face leaves Emilia feeling cold all over, and leaves her feeling as if Erika might have known all along, and only drug things out to this point because she could.

"Unless what I said to you before is finally getting to you. Could it be you've discovered new feelings your heart? Could it be that you found out you totally do have a crush on someone?!"

"I...I...well, that's..." When she finds herself confronted with it, Emilia finds that she can't actually bring herself to lie about it, even though she definitely doesn't want anyone to know the details of her feelings for Dr. Kishitani.

"I knew it! You're so obvious. Well, come on, you've got just enough time to tell us who the lucky person is!"

"I can't do that !" she protests, her face going completely red. She wonders, if it were anyone else, if she would be more willing to share it with Erika and Walker. They are some of the best friends she's had at school, after all, so who else would be better to trust?

"Hm, well, that's no fun, but I guess I understand," she replies with a solemn nod. "I'm only going easy on you because we have to get to class, though. You'd better be prepared to tell me eventually, because you know I'd be able to keep it a secret!"

"Me too," adds Walker with a friendly smile. "I'm really trustworthy!"

Emilia is fortunate to be able to get away from them right then. As grateful as she is for their claims of trustworthiness, that doesn't change the fact that it's too embarrassing for her to admit to anyone. She knows that Erika is somewhat shameless about her crush on Miss Kujiragi, but she can't imagine being that fearless. Though she would never make fun of Erika for it, and though she's pretty sure Erika wouldn't make fun of her for anything, she can't help but feel like having a crush on a teacher is something that warrants merciless teasing.

For now, she has to keep it to herself.

~X~

Trying to sit through another class in the same room as him is more difficult than she ever could have imagined. All day, it's been hard to stay awake, but now Emilia is suddenly alert and on edge, watching everything he does with closer attention than ever. Nothing of note happens throughout the entire class, but still she watches him, her heartbeat picking up any time she feels like he might be looking her way.

There's no way that it's really as obvious as she feels like it is, but she fears that it's written all over her face; that Dr. Kishitani can tell just by looking at her that she's fallen for him. Half of her wants class to never end so that she can stay near him, but the other half is relieved when she can finally go home and escape the tension that only she feels.