Band of Brothers Drabbles

10. Are you okay? (Lewis Nixon).

(A/N): Dick summoned you because he is worried about Nix. 

Disclaimer!: the characters in this story are based on the characters of the television show, not the real men and this is in no way meant offensively or disrespectfully to those heroes. 

Trigger warnings: Mentions of addiction

Of course Nixon knew that the alcohol didn't do him any good, but he also knew it took the edge of things, it made him think less - and thinking less was a good thing in war, he could tell you that. As he was rummaging through some Kraut home, on a quest for his favorite liquor (but honestly also any liquor that would live up to his standards and satisfy his needs), he didn't notice a figure appearing in the doorway. He was too enthralled as he was opening cabinet after cabinet. He didn't notice how your brows were furrowed with worry, or how you had wrapped your arms protectively around yourself. Your eyes followed his movements you leaned against the door frame, knowing all too well what he was looking for. Of course some part of you could understand his need for a distraction and that this was the perfect distraction. Hell, alcohol was your best friend when it came to taking your mind of things. What worried you was how dependent Nix had become, he couldn't seem to function any more without it, or at least so you had heard. You could see his movements getting more rushed and aggressive as he couldn't seem to find what he was looking for. You heard him growl in frustration before turning around on his heels to stomp out of the room - ready to trash yet another place in his madness. His movements halted when he saw you. 

"(L/N)," he spoke, you could feel the tension in the air and hear the strain in his voice. You knew he was trying to keep it together in front of you. "Nix," you greeted him. You let your eyes wander over his face. You were so familiar with all of his features that you could probably draw his face from your memory, would anyone ask you to. You detected how his face had aged. There were more lines on his face than there had been before, his eyes seemed to have become more dull, the tone of his skin was grayer. "What are you doing here?" He spoke, his voice laced with bewilderment and frustration. You had clearly caught him at a bad time. You had to clear your throat to be able to speak, had you known he would still have this kind of an impact on you, you wouldn't have come. "I'm here because I'm worried about you," you spoke softly. You didn't want to upset the man, so you tried to stay calm, God knew emotions could run high when you two were in a room together. He huffed, mimicking your posture and crossing his arms. "Did Dick send you?" He looked at you in annoyance. You shrugged, "So what if he did Lew, you know he only means well." He rolled his eyes, "I don't need an intervention."  You bit your lip, trying to figure out how to best approach this. You didn't get the chance to say anything though, because the captain went on. "I really don't understand why he had to get you to come over, he knows you're not working with us anymore." You let a small breath escape your lips, you knew this would come up in the conversation. "Lew..." you said softly. "No, (Y/N), this is not okay, you can't come back to talk to me like this- you left remember? Voluntarily I might add." You drew in a sharp breath, running your hands over your upper arms. "It was the best thing at the time, Nix, we both agreed- we couldn't keep working together like that-" you spoke softly. You were hurt about how resentful he sounded. He laughed a short laugh, even though there was nothing funny about the situation. "It was the best thing for you, (Y/N), I had to stay behind as the married man who had a fling with one of the most respected women in the entire battalion," he  spoke harshly. You wrapped your arms around yourself as tightly as you could. Not often was it that you felt so lonely when not alone in a room. Lewis' stare was hard and unforgiving, not a speck of love for you in his eyes. "I thought it would  be best if I left - because I was the one who you know-" you tried to explain. "Who left in the dead of night without saying goodbye? Who broke things off without any kind of explanation?" He cut you off to finish your sentence. You bit your lip, sucking your bottom lip between your teeth. You nodded, in theory, he wasn't wrong. 

"I'm real-," you tried to apologize. "Spare me your apologies, (Y/N), I get why you did it, doesn't mean I have to be happy about it." The man at the other side of the room seemed so foreign to you, the way he acted with you was so different than it used to be. Of course you hadn't expected a warm welcome, but this- He didn't even seem fazed by the fact that you were still alive. That thought  that shot through your head made you smile bitterly, you couldn't help it. He looked at you, clearly bothered by your little outburst of emotion. "What?" he snapped. "Aren't you at least glad to know I'm still alive? That I've survived?" you said softly. Lewis Nixon and you had been best friends during some very tough moments and you cared for the man deeply. The fact that he didn't even blink an eye to the knowledge that you were still breathing hurt you severely. You could see a little twinkle in his eyes, "Once again, you're underestimating me (Y/N), you didn't think I would let you leave and not figure out where you had gone off to, did you?" he asked, was that amusement in his voice? "I am an intelligence officer after all." You snorted at his cockiness before what he had said dawned on you, your eyebrows going up. "Have you been keeping tabs on me?" you asked softly. Lewis Nixon was standing in front of you faster than you could process. "Of course, I had to know you were alright," he admitted. You could feel your heart beating faster at his proximity. "I'm alright, Lew," you assured him. He took your hand in his, squeezing firmly. His actions said more than a thousand words could in that moment. It took you a second to brace the distance between yourself and the captain and to bury your head safely in the crook of his neck. You could feel his large hand on the back of your head, fingers running through your hair. You breathed in his scent, "I've missed you," you whispered, your voice barely audible. You felt his lips graze your forehead in a light kiss, "I've missed you too, (Y/N)."