The Casual Affair (Ryden/Mpreg)

Chapter 20

Ryan's POV

'Ryan Ross. I've never hated anyone as much I hate you. You a literally the worst person I've ever met. What the hell is wrong with you?! Why would I lie about being pregnant with your kid. Do you think I want this?! I have a life believe it or not. God, the nerve! You can't just fuck someone, knock them up, and then spit at their feet! Jesus fucking Christ! I hope you die Ryan Ross.'

I don't know wether to laugh or cry at the very last note in the box Brendon gave me. I was such a shitty person back then. It's weird how things change in a years time. I place the last note back into the box and reposition the sleeping baby in my arm.

Brendon is currently dead asleep on our little bed, completely sprawled out and a slight bit of drool running down his cheek. I love this man...

I sit next to him on the little space that's not occupied by his limbs and lean down, kissing his temple. He stirs slightly and a smile spreads onto his face. Asher lets out a few coos and slowly starts to wake.

By now I know that when Asher wakes up, he cries like a little monster until his daddy sings to him.

And guess who's daddy?

The sleeping beauty next me.

A little whimper leaves the baby's lips and I carry him to the hall so he won't wake Brendon. "You're just gonna have to settle with Papa singing to you." I say quietly, rocking Asher back and forth. I sigh and begin to sing to him. "You would not believe your eyes if ten million fireflies lit up the world as I fell asleep. Cause they fill the open air and leave tear drops everywhere. You'd think me rude, but I would just stand and stare."

Something changes in me at that very moment. I felt like a father the minute I held Asher in my arms, but looking at him as I sing, a look calmness adorns his chubby face. I'll try with everything I have in me to make this little boy happy. I'll make sure he has a good life and I know sometimes he'll get hell, because 'ew he has two dads, that's weird.', but I'll love him unconditionally.

"I'd like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly. It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep cause everything is never as it seems." I start to sway a little more in time with the song and let Asher grab onto my finger with his vice like grip.

"Cause I'd get a thousand hugs from ten thousand lightning bugs as they tried to teach me how to dance. A foxtrot above my head as sock hop beneath my bed. A disco ball is just hanging by a thread." I'm practically dancing now with the little baby in my arms. I'm so giddy, I don't even notice Brendon leaning in the doorway.

"I'd like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly. It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep. Cause everything is never as it seems." I turn quickly, my eyes catching the huge smile on Brendon's face.

"I didn't know you could sing." Brendon says, his eyes glowing.

"I can't." Asher's little fists wave and small cries leave his lips. I quickly pass him to Brendon and he kisses my cheek as he takes him.

"Really? Cause it sure didn't sound like it." Brendon smirks at me and heads back into the bedroom. "By the way, if you're going to try to avoid waking me up, try not to sing like no ones listening. I could listen to your voice all day." My heart flutters in my chest and I follow after Brendon, but he quickly put his hand to my chest. "It's time for Asher, Daddy time."

I roll my eyes and chuckle. "Fine, Daddy, come downstairs when you're done." Brendon nods and closes the door. I go downstairs and take my usual spot on the couch. It's weird how everything just feels normal.

This is my life now... and I honestly couldn't be happier.

My phone buzzes in my poket. Honest to god, I have the best mother in the world considering she continues to pay my phone bills. Not even caring to see who it is, I answer it with the happiest voice I could possibly muster. "Hello?"

"Hey Ryan... your baby is cute." A small famale voice compliments my child on the other end while sit there frozen.

"Why are you calling me?" I ask while just as much suspicion as I would if I asked Brendon why he was making horse noises. I know exactly what's going on, but clarification helps my sanity.

"I just want us to be friends Ryan! I know we left things off bad, but I miss being around you... you were my first love." A lump forms in my throat and I grimace.

"You told Brendon to kill himself Keltie! Why would I want to be friends with you after that?!" I yell.

"Because you love me!"

"I love Brendon! And I love my child. Their well being comes before everything else. For me to even consider being friends with you, you'd have to do a hell of a lot of apologizing."

"I'm sorry Ryan."

"No, no, no. Not to me. To Brendon." And I hang up, no longer wanting to deal all her shit. The fact that she thinks I would just magically welcome her back into my life with open arms makes me sick. I've realized a lot of things about my life and one thing I now know for sure is that I never really loved Keltie.

I loved the idea of loving her.

But then Brendon just pushed his way into my life with this no regrets type of attitude... now I know what real love feels like.

It feels like lazy Sunday mornings with a little person balled up in blankets lying next to me.

Those two are my real loves.

"Thank you Ryan..." A soft hand slides onto my shoulder as Brendon whispers words to me.

"I just... I can't let her go on thinking that I'm only with you for Ash. You're important to me." My chest aches at the life I used to live. I didn't know what I wanted. I just took and took and took and I could never have enough.

But now I have someone to give to.

Someone to love and care for, someone who holds so much significance in my life that I wouldn't go on living if I had to give him up.

Asher is my entire world... as well as Brendon.

"I love you Ryan." Brendon whispers, rounding the couch and sitting next to me. I offer him a soft smile and wrap an arm around his shoulder. I couldn't ask for anything better than this life now.

With such a family my future can only go up.

And I'll live it with such a fire burning in my chest that I'll take every moment with them as if it were my last.

Keltie will move on surely, as well as Jac. All my old friends... they'll forget about me. I was just a pawn for their popularity game.

My father will learn to accept me in due time. I know when he meets Asher he'll melt in a minute.

.... As for Brendon's father. There's not much hope for him. Someone so misguided and stubborn couldn't possibly get better.

Then again, I did just that.

And now I have something to really, honestly live for.