Red vs Blue Season 11: Male Oc

Rvb S11 E16 "FAQ"

Wade: What do you mean?

Felix: I mean, do you understand where you've crashed?

Sarge: Well, we've been taking bets. Highest wager's currently on Bermuda Triangle. After that, we've got Gilligan's Island and purgatory.

Grif: So stupid.

Donut: No, just think about it. It makes perfect sense.

Felix: The reason no one's come to help you is the same reason no one's come to help them.

Felix says, gesturing over to the four dead white soldiers near them.

Zeta: Who's them?

Felix: The people on this planet.

Wash: What planet?

Felix: Chorus.

Wade: Chorus? Never heard of it.

Felix: Well, I wouldn't expect you to. It's on the very edge of colonized space, and after the war between the humans and the aliens, it was more or less forgotten by Earth and the UNSC.

Grif: We crashed in the middle of nowhere, on a planet in the middle of nowhere. Fucking beautiful, everybody.

Leo: (Sighs) Our luck just keeps getting better and better.

Simmons: But how did we end up so far from home? It should have been a short flight.

Sarge begins to nervously sweat under his helmet.

~Flashback~
Inside of the spaceship, before the crash. Sarge is seen tampering with the ship's engine as one of the spaceship operator stands to the side watching him.

Spaceship operator: Sir, please, you can't be back here. These engines are delicate.

Sarge: Can it, Poindexter. No wonder this flight's taking so long! Who ever heard of delicate engines? These engines are supposed to be big. Loud. And terrible for the environment! Let's kick this baby into slipspace!

Spaceship operator: Wait!

Suddenly, alarms and flashing red lights go off.

~Present~
Back to the group as Sarge continues to sweat nervously.

Sarge: Uh, one mystery at a time there, Simmons.

Felix: Now, being a small planet, completely free of UNSC jurisdiction, the nice little people of Chorus decided to run things on their own. The only problem was, they didn't do a very good job.

Grif: Ugh, history's the worst. Can you just get to the point?

Felix: The point is, you've crash-landed in the middle of a civil war. And I'm on the side that's trying to keep you alive.

Leo: And which side would that be?

Felix: The New Republic. Essentially, a bunch of people got fed up with the way things were going on Chorus, so, they put together a rebel army and decided to fight for their freedom. It's all very patriotic.

Tucker: So, what? Does that make those guys the Evil Empire or something?

Felix: Yeah, you could say that.

Tucker: Oh. Well, fuck.

Wash: But why the attack? Why try to kidnap us?

Felix: It's like I said: you're the greatest soldiers in the galaxy. That makes you a pretty hot commodity. And I'd be lying if I said my shitty attempt at a rescue mission didn't have a few strings attached.