Heart of Darkness

Kabanata 13

"No worries, just remember that a lot of people loves you, kung ready ka na, open up. That would lift a heavy load on your chest."

I nodded, smiling at him.

"Thank you," Mahinang sabi ko.

He nodded, licking his lower lip and fixing his glasses. Nang tumayo ako ay tumayo rin s'ya at inihatid ako sa pintuan ng clinic n'ya.

"Take care, Winter, may maghahatid ba sa'yo?" Aniya at ngumuso ako at umiling.

"I went here alone, ayokong pag-aalahanin ang Daddy, busy sa agendas n'ya." I chuckled.

"Alright, congratulations to your father. He won a place in the senate, right? Top place?"

"Yes po," I smiled.

Nang lumabas ako sa clinic ay sumunod s'ya sakin, I nodded and thanked him for giving me time to talk to him and he nodded, smiling a little.

"Take care," He said. Tumalikod ako, maglalakad na sana para umalis nang matigilan ako nang makita ang nakaupo sa sofa.

"Tita Zid?" Dr. Valderama's wife, Zidney, lifted her gaze at me. Nakita ko kung paano manlaki ang mata n'ya nang makita ako at napatayo sa upuan.

"Winter!" She exclaimed.

I chuckled when she hugged me, kaagad ko naman s'yang niyakap at natutuwang humiwalay s'ya at pinagmasdan ako.

"Napadaan ka ulit! I missed you, Winter, Thorn said you skipped therapies?" Malumanay n'yang sabi at mahina akong tumango.

"But she'll continue therapies now, queen." Sabat ni Doc roon sa likod kaya napangisi ako at tumango.

Tita Zid pouted and nodded, hugging me again.

"That's great! If you want someone to talk to, I'm here, okay?" Ani Tita. "And Thorn too, he's good, right?"

Natatawang tumango ako roon.

"You keep on spoiling Tito Thorn," I said, not being formal anymore.

Humagikhik si Tita at inilingan ako, I saw Tito Thorn laughed a bit, shaking his head and stared at her lovely wife.

She was like a mother to me, I remembered her comforting me years ago when I was so lost.

After my sister's death, I was never the same, for months, I locked myself up in the dark, I blocked anyone from entering my mind. I was too preoccupied blaming myself for my sister's death.

Kahit anong gawin ng pamilya at kaibigan ko, I refused to talk to them regarding my situation. I refused opening myself up. I never shared my problems and kept it in myself.

I may be happy in a lot of times but when I'm alone, as if the memories will comeback, showing it to me. I may be smiling but when I'm alone, I swear, it kills me everytime.

It was the darkest months of my life until I sober up, I decided to ask for help, I want someone to hear my voice and pain so, I asked for medical help.

Tumakas lang ako sa mansyon isang umaga at nagpunta sa ospital sa Maynila para magbakasali.

I was so scared, habang nakaupo sa bench at nag-iisip ng gagawin sa ospital ay naduwag akong magpacheck-up. I was nervous, paano kung nagkasakit na talaga ako?

Hindi ko itinuloy ang plano, umiyak lang ako sa lobby ng ospital until someone reached out for me when she saw me crying.

It was Tita Zidney, hindi ko alam pero ang gaan-gaan ng loob ko sa kanya, in that exact moment, while staring at her, I told her my story and she listened to me, we talked as if we are sharing the same pain.