me

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trapped, i feel isolated.
never alone but crave for solitude.
sometimes i wonder,
if this is what i'm destined to be; alone.

i call myself a person open to conversation when i long to be alone, in the comfort of my own conscience.

antisocial and asocial without the aggression but nevertheless the solitude.

the loneliness and desire for freedom that i feel while being confined to the anticipations of being an adult, of being something more than just a voice ignored.

maybe, just maybe, i idealize my aloneness and twist it into something so i can make excuses for not being in a normal state of mind.

maybe, just maybe, i want to feel alone and isolated only because i don't feel free to be in a blessed state even though i have all the comfort for being in such a state.

nevertheless, isolation is something that i naturally enclose myself in... without even trying.

i want to be free but if i can't be free now, i rather be alone,

how tragically twisted
- a.

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