Magnetic

Magnetic - Chapter 4

The next time I worked with Damien, it was even more awkward than usual because by then, I knew all sorts of stuff about him. However, I thought back to my own past and wondered if I were the same person from three years ago?

I continued working on the latest stack of papers to grade and I found myself drifting off into memories from my own past. This was long before I moved across the country for graduate school.

Where was I three years ago? I asked myself as I read through Macbeth essays. How different was I from Damien when he wasn't hesitating to sleep with half of the student body?

Three years ago I was stuck in a small town doing small town things when all I wanted was to pursue my dreams. I was definitely not the same person I was then and that, at least, made me feel better about everything that I had learned about Damien from Diana. Maybe, if I wasn't the same person, he wasn't, either.

Three years ago, I was stuck in a place that I didn't ever want to go back to. I felt stuck for so long and no one who claimed to care about me, ever listened to my feelings.

Not even Xander.

Xander was a picture perfect boyfriend. He said all the right things and he had my parent's approval. While I dated around in high school and before entering college, Xander was a big part of my life for so long. Then, he just wasn't.

My parents wanted me to stay close to the safety of home and Xander wanted me to be completely dependent on him. Everyone planned out my future for me, without me.

That girl was foreign to me now. I didn't even know who she was anymore. I'd grown so much and accomplished so much since those broken memories. Despite the way I went about coming out her for school, it was the only way. It had to be done and I had not one regret about any of it.

"I think that essay is a pass." Damien said randomly and his voice jerked me back to reality. I looked at him as he stood over as I read the same essay for the tenth time.

"Huh?" I asked blankly.

"You've been staring at that single essay for like twenty minutes." He explained. "I think it's a pass."

He was referring to the pass or fail grading system of Professor Klein's class. Had I really been zoning out for so long?

"Sorry..." I shrugged, marking the essay as a pass and noting it in the grade book.

"Everything ok?" He asked settling back at his own desk.

I was surprised at the sound of concern in his voice. I've heard nothing but annoyance in his voice since we met. This was more than he'd said to me since I started this job.

"I'm fine." I lied.

But he was already back to ignoring me and focusing on his work. The music I played when I walked in was still playing softly in the background from the small speaker on Damien's desk. No matter how annoyed he seemed with me when I walked in, he never turned off or changed the music I put on his speaker.

By the time the end of my shift came around, I finished everything I was assigned and start organizing some of the files on Professor Klein's desk. Damien said it would be okay and they were kind of driving me insane at how unorganized they were.

"So, big night?" He asked awkwardly as I got ready to leave for the day.

I shrugged nonchalantly, "I'm just going to the Halloween party at Sigma house, that's all."

"That's all?" He laughed condescendingly.

I suddenly became offended and scoffed at him, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"A Halloween party at Sigma house is nothing to downplay." He scolded, as if somehow he could talk to me like that. "You make like it's a tea party but someone like you has no idea what you're in for."

I was suddenly confused how this conversation had turned into an argument but I was not backing down from defending myself.

"It's a party, we aren't disarming a nuclear warhead. I think it will be alright." I teased, trying to show him how stupid he was being.

But for some odd reason, he didn't budge. I could see the tension growing on his forehead.

"And what do you mean, someone like me?" I added. "I've been to parties before, I'm twenty-five, for crying out loud."

I waited for Damien to argue with me more but he didn't. Instead, he retreated back into ignore-me mode as he gathered his things with haste. Before I could say another word, he walked out, leaving me alone in the room.

Standing there for a moment, still unsure of what just happened and trying to replay it all in my head, I eventually gave up. Chalking it up to the fact that he hated me, I pushed it from mind and left to go get ready for the party.

When I got back to the dorm, Jessa was in full blown panic mode and it looked like a boutique at the mall threw up all over her side of the dorm. Clothes and accessories were littered all over her bed and on the floor. She was currently modeling a short white dress and crystal clear heels that she paired with a cheap halo.

"I'm an angel?" She asked, turning to ask for my approval as I walked in the room. "It's basic but the dress is cute."

I gave her a fake thumbs up.

"What are you going to be?" She asked as she tried on another pair of heels with her dress.

I tossed my bag on the bed and pulled out a sleek black dress from the closet. It was far more revealing than anything I would ever wear on any other night but it was Halloween after all.

"Myself." I teased, showing her the red devils horn. "Well, for tonight anyway. Something has inspired me to step out of my comfort zone and let loose."

"Really?" She laughed suspiciously.

"I just feel like letting go and having fun. I'm not trying to get a tattoo or piercing tonight but a few drinks and some dancing won't hurt." I admitted as I pushed Damien from my mind.

Damien had the audacity to peg me for a good girl and that was one thing but assuming that I was cut out for the Sigma House was just plain offensive. I wasn't completely uptight. I could let lose and have fun if I really wanted to.

Jessa and I turned our focus to getting ready but I couldn't shake the sense rebellion that was brewing in the pit of my stomach. Since I stayed later than I intended to at work, there was only a short time to get ready.

"Whose picking us up again?" I asked as I put another layer of bright red lipstick on my lips.

"Eric." She replied from the bathroom where she was adding more sparkles to her cleavage.

"Can I get in on that?" I laughed, bewildered at my own request.

"Seriously?" She asked, unsure if I was mocking her.

"Yeah." I shrugged. "Why not?"

While shimmering in a way-too-short-dress and way-too-high-heels was not usually my style, it was Halloween and I decided to let go a little. I glanced at myself in the mirror as Jessa came over and sprayed some body glitter all over me. I look decent. While I wasn't comfortable with my body enough to be wearing something like that, the defiance I felt from Damien's words telling me that this party wasn't a place for someone like me, made me ready to rock it.

My hair was down and my curls were tamed for once thanks to Jessa and what that girl could accomplish with a curling iron in twenty minutes. Perfect curls ran down my back and I tacked on some extra hairspray just in case.

The short black dress that I was wearing was also sleeveless. It would prove challenging in the cold but I had a nice coat that went with my outfit and that I could shed once we got to the party. My makeup was sultry and way more than I usually wore but was that not the point?

"You are a bombshell." Jessa smiled with a hint of surprise in her voice as she looked at me from across the room.

"Let's do this." She smirked and we both put on our coats to head out the door.