I'm Only Living For You (A Ray Toro x Reader)

The Gentlest Things

RAY'S POV

Y/n and I hadn't yet addressed the elephant in the room of our relationship. I did want to be with her quite desperately, and was willing to do everything to achieve that, but was she willing to do the same? The fact that she invited me to a social event with her was a good sign.

Over the next few weeks, Y/n and I developed a schedule where she would ride the bus to my apartment after school and work were over to do homework, and I would walk her home. I found it was extremely easy to get Y/n sidetracked from her schoolwork. All I had to do was trace my hand up her thigh for a few minutes and she'd be all over me.

We would make out on the couch, our bodies pressed closely against one another. Hands made their way under her clothes to touch skin that we were both too scared to reveal. Her motivations for the modesty were cloudy to me. All I knew was that making Y/n self-conscious would destroy me, and I wasn't sure how to make my way around her insecurities yet. For now, the kissing was just fine.

So here we were, sitting on the couch together, Y/n seriously focused on her homework, and me, pretending to read a book. Y/n sat with her back leaning on the arm of the couch, with her sock feet resting on the cushions. I sat the customary way, upright and leaned with my back against the proper sides.

I always enjoyed watching her work. Every few minutes she would run her thumb over her bottom lip, then return to typing. Those lips. Her fingers. The two gentlest things I had ever seen, ever felt, making some sort of harmony. The sweet music didn't stop when she caught me staring the first time. Or the second time. Or any of the times after that. Rather, the lingering of her finger while she smiled at me was like an accent on an intricate movement; fleeting and refreshing. I could listen to the melody all day.

Abruptly, soft fingers shut my book. They set it to the side and brushed my hair back, exposing my neck. Then came the lips, sprinkling kisses from the base of my neck all the way up to my forehead.

"I saw you staring mon nounours," Y/n whispered to me. She loved speaking French to me. Whether it was an endearing nickname, or a searing insult when I beat her at Uno, Y/n was always utilizing her limited knowledge of the language around me.

"You're just too pretty not to, angel." I turned my head to capture her lips with mine, savoring her with every fiber in my being. "You're beautiful."

Y/n pulled away and smiled down at her hands.

"You think I'm beautiful?" Her face was turning pink.

"Of course I do, I've told you before, I'm sure of it!" I took one of her hands and intertwined our fingers.

"Yes, I know, I just never really took it seriously before." She leaned her head on my shoulder. "Like, I never really absorbed the meaning of those words until now." She looked up at me with a few tears in her eyes. "Thank you Ray."

I kissed her again. This kiss was more passionate than the others, more forceful. I only wanted her to feel safe with me and feel loved. She melded with me and we were once again pressed closely together.

Y/n pulled away, gasping for breath. "Ca-can I sleep here tonight?"

"Yeah, you can sleep here."

"Okay. I just really don't want to be alone tonight."

We slept on the couch that night. Y/n was clinging to me the whole time, but I didn't mind all that much. Her little cherub face squished against my arm was too cute to get annoyed with anyway.

The next day after I took Y/n home, I had more rehearsal. The guys seemed a little apprehensive towards me, like they were trying not to stare at me. I was setting up when Mikey came up behind me.

"Dude, were you busy last night?" He half whispered to me.

"No, why?" I looked at him confused.

"Cuz you got a giant ass hickey on your neck man!" Frank yelled from across the room.

"Shit!" I tried to cover it up quickly with my sweatshirt, but Mikey pulled my hand away and started inspecting it, while the rest of the guys crowded around me.

"Bro what the hell," Gerard loomed over in shock and amazement. "She fuckin' hoovered your throat man! How are you still alive?

"Did Y/n do this?" Frank pushed my head to view my shame bruise better. "I didn't know she had it in her."

I pushed them off and pulled my hood over me, making sure to pull the strings tight. "Yes, it was Y/n, but-"

"OOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!!" The immature brats erupted into a chorus you might hear when a classmate gets called down to the office.

"Can we PLEASE stop talking about it and just play the goddamn music?" I pleaded with them.

"Alright man, whatever you say." Frank picked up his guitar.

I played as hard as I could for multiple hours, trying to cover my embarrassment of having a discovered hickey with some sort of melody. Anytime I lost focus, I remembered Y/n. I could incorporate little flourishes of her into riffs and solos.

"So you and Y/n huh?" Mikey asked me as soon as we were done practicing. The five of us were sat around the basement, not really doing anything. I still had my hood pulled tightly over me, half-sulking in the corner of the couch.

"Well, yes and no. We aren't officially a thing, but neither of us are going after other people, so...."

"Looks like you've got this on lock though man," Gerard ventured. "She was really into you when we met her, so just snag her while you can you know?"

"Yeah," I pulled at a string on my hoodie. "She invited me to go to this party at her bosses place with her, so I think that's a good sign."

"Of course that's a good sign!" An older female voice chided from the top of the stairs. It was Gerard's mom, Mrs. Donna Way, coming downstairs with an empty laundry basket in tow. "Sweetie, if she's taking you to her bosses house, that means she not only is okay with introducing you to important people, but she also wants to be seen in polite company with you. This is a very good sign."

I contemplated for a moment while she pulled clothes out of the dryer. She was right. Of course she was, she understood women. After all, she was one herself.

"Thanks Mrs. Way." I smiled.

"No problem hun," She looked at me in the eyes before walking up the stairs. "Just don't screw this up."

Damn beanie babies it's been a few weeks. School got out like a week ago. I'm officially a sophomore now wtf. Anyway, I really enjoy writing this story. Is there anything you guys want to see in particular?

XoXo
Dizzy S