re: Broken Dreams

Intro: Part 1: A New Beginning

It's me; Gray Infinity. If you're reading this, then it's too late for you to go back now because what you're about to read is going to change the way you look at reality forever. I used to be a boy with short, dark hair and ordinary brown eyes. I used to always be the guy to wear a sweater over all of my clothes because I was never proud of my tall, pale, skinny body. The only part of my outfit that I was always really proud of was the Nike shoes. Nevertheless, I was always the shy kid in the back of the room, but everything changed as soon as I realized there was no reason to be shy anymore. And after everything I've seen, I found my true purpose, but that was only after every dream I had lined up for myself was completely broken. Here's my story...

Where do I even begin? When does it end? I have no idea, but I guess I'll start with this; high school. I've had many adventures in a place called Life High. I was happy...I guess. I had a great family and many friends, but many things changed once I stepped through those doors. What I mean by that is, freshman year at Life High was insane and I was not ready. I remember myself shaking violently out of nervousness. I was the shy kid, after all.

Upon entering those front doors on that very first day, I was on high alert. I kept myself silent because I knew only a few people around me. It was such an awkward experience being in a new environment after everything I've been through in middle school. It was like a new beginning, but it didn't feel that way. It felt like a new responsibility that was only going to add on to our previous burdens. Some of us had it rough. Some of us didn't have such a great family. Some of us were destined to be the outcast. Some of us had no family. And many others were just stressed out and timid.

I finally entered the lobby to my new school after waiting for at least an hour for the doors to finally be unlocked. It was 7:50 AM and it was warm outside. Despite this, I had a plaid sweater on and just regular jeans. I didn't want to stand out, so I just kept it casual and safe. That was all I really wanted to be; safe. I tried to enter as fast as I could and I walked without looking back. I remember being the one person in the halls to always walk the fastest. It wasn't because I wanted to get to class or I had somewhere to be, I just wanted my voyage in the hallway to be over as soon as possible. I remember the voices of those people who judged me as I walked by. How could I forget?

Anyway, I had my schedule ready on my cell phone. The school provided it a week before and I barely looked at it. I was anxious. I didn't want to know what classes I had because I knew I was going to hate them. As a freshman, you don't get to choose your classes. It was all the basic, required stuff that was going to drive you mad and I wasn't someone who loved having things chosen for me. Luckily, I had breakfast to deal with first, so I didn't have to see any teachers until 8:20 AM. I had some time, but it was never enough.

Every freshman marched to the cafeteria. I can imagine myself walking down that same hallway again. Looking back, I wanted to pull myself aside and stop every bad thing from happening. I wanted to tell my past self to talk to no one, yet that wasn't in my nature. I was shy, but it was always the quiet ones in the background that showed the most promise. I broke my silence and finally talked to one of my closest friends who also happened to be my neighbor. Her name was Fay.

I entered the cafeteria and saw Fay talking to some familiar friends. She stood there with her usual black, ponytail style hair. She wore a large, black shirt and some blue jeans to go along with it. Fay had fairly tanned skin and she was a bit on the broader side physically, but she was confident in herself nevertheless. She was a great friend and neighbor, but she sometimes fell short on those roles from time to time.

It seemed that not much has changed anyway. I walked into the cafeteria and Fay didn't even notice me. I confronted her and our friends and we have a small chat about what classes we had. I had to look at my schedule now. I was dreading this moment, but it was the only way I was going to navigate this huge school. I opened my phone to find Biology, English, History, Technology, Gym, and Math. The classes were all jumbled up, so I couldn't really tell what came first and when lunch was. I knew it was going to be a long day. I showed everyone my schedule, but none of them had any classes with me, so I was on my own; four classes straight all by myself.