Bohemian Rhapsody

songfic #2 - On My Mind

It's a little dirty how the whole thing started
I don't even really know what you intended
The way you got with Roger perhaps wasn't the best start to your relationship and you'd most probably  realise that later. Your thoughts would tell you that that was why it went wrong. Not because of the fights, the long times away. Not because of your paranoia. No, because you slept together, and that, really, was how you met him. In a club, drunk off your mind, the same as him, and telling him that he "really looked like the cute boy in Queen.", the band you had gone to see with your friends that night.   Really, he would joke later, you were a groupie.
Next thing that I know I'm in the hotel with you
You were talking deep like it was mad love to you
You had been together for five months when Roger first told you he loved you. It was arguably a long time into the relationship - but you were both scared, scared to fall into feeling that would be so hard to get out of.
You were curled up to him in the bed that really was unnecessarily large, tangled around each other as you were.
"Y/N?" He mumbled, as you sleepily blinked, running your hands through his tousled hair.
"Hmm?" You murmured.
"I love you, you know that, right?" You blinked, wide awake this time. Roger Taylor had really just said that?
"You..." You said, almost believing you'd heard him wrong.
"Love you."
You swallowed, letting feelings you'd been burying for months rise to the surface.
"I love you too."
I always hear, always hear them talking
Talking 'bout a girl, 'bout a girl with my name
Saying that I hurt you but I still don't get it
You'd read the tabloids, and read the hate they'd published about you, after, being together for seven months, you'd broken up with the Roger Taylor.
You'd lost friends - Brian, John, Mary, though you still heard from Freddie sometimes.
You knew, from him, from the pictures in the papers that you really did hurt Roger Taylor. He looked broken, hair tousled, unteased, because it had only really been you who could do it properly. The first day you saw one of the photos, was the day you really regretted what you had done.
You didn't love me, no, not really
You'd convinced yourself of the fact. The same papers that had filled you with guilt over Rog, were, ultimately, the ones who caused you to end it. You couldn't take it. The pictures of him with different girls every night, and yes, they probably were just fans. But it hurt. The blatant lies. Your very public relationship. And one day, you just couldn't take it anymore. So you finished it.
You got yourself in a dangerous zone
'Cause we both have the fear, fear of being alone
The phone rang, late, late, at night, and you stumbled out of your empty, cold bed.
"Hi?"
"Y/N, love its me!" Roger was yelling, over a million people's voices.
"R-Rog?"
He was drunk. But you didn't care. You loved that voice, and you'd do anything to hear it for a little longer.
"Rog, why are you ringing?" You said softly.
He quietened a little.
"Dunno. I miss you, I don't wanna be alone, I-"
"You're drunk." You sighed. "Just... ring me back when you're sober. Or not at all."
And I know I shouldn't say it
But my heart don't understand
Why I got you on my mind
You sat by that phone all night. Hoping, praying. You could fix it. You knew you could.
You waited until your alarm clock went off, the dawn light streaming into the room.
The call never came.
But you never got the boy off your mind.