To Be Different; Part One

To Be Different; Chapter 7

"It's just a little boy brawl," Mr. Simmons says so quietly, I'm not even sure I heard him.

"A boy brawl, Tim?" I can sense that Mrs. Simmons is about to be hysterical. "A boy brawl? Our son almost died and you're just going to say, it was a little boy brawl!"

Mr. Simmons frowns, "That's not what I meant Ilene. You know that."

She shakes her head, "I know what you meant, Tim. And it just basically means you don't care."

"That's not true!" he yells at her. "I care about Ari, just as much as you do."

"Then where are you at night, when it's just him and I? Where are you during the day when he comes home? WHERE!" she screams back but he doesn't give her an answer. Doesn't even look at her as he walks out of the room. I see the tears fall and I want to reach out to her and hug her like I hug my mother but I stay put.

"You know where he goes, don't you?" she whispers. I'm not sure if she's speaking to me or herself, I just shake my head. "He goes out to meet some young girl and doesn't even care that he has a family. A son that needs him and a wife, that loves him."

I knew this, in a sense. Not where Mr. Simmons goes, but Ari would bring it up sometimes, asking me where I think his father goes, but I never have the right answer.

"We've been married for almost twenty years but it's been going downhill since Nathaniel died, "she cries. I sit there watching her, for minutes wondering what the right words are to say, what I should do.

"I think I'm going to go for a little walk", she wipes away the tears. "You don't mind that do you?"

"No, Mrs. Simmons."

 "Such a good girl, you are Cass. I'm happy Ari has you," with that she walks out of the room, leaving me alone with Ari.

"I find it funny when my parents don't have a clue", I nearly jump out of my seat when I hear his voice. "Sorry, did I scare you?"

I give a nervous laugh, "Of course not Ari".

He smiles softly, "Thanks. For today."

"No problem," I say again. "I need you, Ari, alive not dead."

He chuckles, "Nice way to put it. I need you too."

I give him one of my smiles, the one where it seems so pure. So full of happiness, even though this moment was almost scary. "I wish he hadn't touched you."

Ari shrugs, "It's whatever".

I look at him with complete shock. "He nearly killed you and 'It's whatever'?"

"Yeah", He stares at the wall in front of him. "I'm better off dead anyway."

I feel something inside me break, "Don't say that. Don't ever say that, Ari."

 "It's true though", his hands begin to shake. "No one loves me."

I stand up and stare at him, his expression unreadable. I'm not sure whether to be angry or sad or confused. So I take the latter, "Don't think that, you know it's not true."

He sighs, "It is though. I'm better off dead, there's nothing for me to do anymore. No one will accept me-"

"I accept you", I cut him off. "I've accepted you since the beginning. So am I a no one?"

"No, that's not what I meant", he reaches for my hand and I pull away as a reflex. His hand stays open, waiting for me to put mine in his. But I don't. Not yet.

"Then what do you mean? Ari, what's wrong. Please just tell me, we've been fighting since the school year began and you won't tell me what happened over the summer. You won't tell me anything." My voice cracks as I keep going on. "I hear rumors but I don't believe in them. I'm waiting for the truth, the truth from you. Not another rumor from someone that wasn't even there."

He closes his hand and puts it in his lap. Without looking me in the eye, he asks, "What have you heard?"

I shake my head, "You tell me."

"No," his voice is almost begging. "You tell me."

"Ari..." I trail off. I don't want to tell him what I've heard. Just in case it wasn't true, I didn't want him to hurt anymore then he was now.

"Don't Ari me, Cass. Just tell me. Now." The tone of begging is gone and it's filled with hostility.

"Fine", I breathe in deeply and without stopping, I repeat all the rumors I've heard. "During vacation in New York, the elites, Celeste, Ava, Michelle, and their boyfriends Nikolas, Carson and Richie, caught you making out with some guy. They took pictures, forwarded them and teased you you and the boy. The boy ran off and you were left there, almost like rejection." I look at his face and see how pale it's gone. I look into his eyes and see how much pain there really is.

"Is it true?" I ask him quietly, as I keep looking on at him. He doesn't say or do anything, until a moment later he nods. He nods and then shakes his head.

"It isn't fair," he whispers. "All of this, it isn't fair at all."

"So it's true", something inside breaks once more. Maybe it was my heart; I don't know anymore. 

"Yes," he says it so quiet I'm not sure I heard him. "Yes and I regret it."

"Never regret the things you've done, you did them for a reason, no matter how stupid", I quote one of my poems I had written awhile back.

"Quoted from "Mistakes are Everything" written by you," he laughs softly. "Who knew my life was so screwed up."

"You're life isn't screwed up."

"Of course it is. I'm an out of closet gay, I have no secrets and my best friend that I don't even deserve is in love with me." He makes it sound like he's regretting something. He's regretting me.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I close my eyes and wait for an answer.

I hear his body shift uncomfortably in the hospital bed. "It doesn't mean anything."

Maybe it was the way he worded his sentence and the way his tone was that made me break down. I felt the tears fall down my face. And without so much of a goodbye I go to the door. "I'm sorry it doesn't mean anything to you." And for the third time in my life, I walked out on him, wondering if I should even go back.

~ 

Written by Christina aka BeautifulWriter224

©

Copyright November 9, 2010

All Rights Reserved.