To Be Different; Part One

To Be Different; Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Kory had told me to lie in the grass. Told me to let my memories get the best of me and let them take over. He told me to not be afraid, that he was going to be there, watching me making sure I wouldn't hurt. He said they were like dreams, that I could control what I wanted to see, what I wanted to hear what was said during that time.

Kory made it seem so easy made it seem like I could trust him. I lie in the grass my light brown hair spread out beneath my head. I wonder what I look like as I close my eyes and breathe in slowly and deeply. My body is cold, the clothes I wore today not giving me enough warmth for the weather that is coming.

I hear Kory whisper words not to me but to himself, or maybe to whoever might be listening. My body begins to shake and instead of resisting, I allow it. As this happen, I feel Kory's eyes on me, watching me and waiting for my memories to surface. It seems like hours until I finally stop moving. Until my heart stops racing and until my thoughts become clear and empty.

 My mind is silent, like it is in the world around me. I cannot think nor can I move it's as if I am frozen. I feel myself panic but I stop and soon my mind starts to replay my memories.

~

"Ari, wait up!" He turned to face me and smiled but it seemed almost forced. "You okay, Ari?" He nods but I know it is a lie. I want to press him and push him to tell me what's wrong, but I don't.

"What do you have right now, Cass?" He asks me as he walks by my side.

"You're kidding me right Ari? You know that I have photography I with you." I touch his arm and he pulls away, leaving me confused.

 "Sorry," he mutters. "I just forgot?"

 "Its fine," I tell him, even though it's not. Something was going on with him, something he wouldn't tell me. "I know something's wrong, Ari. So what's up?"

He shrugs and says, "It's nothing Cass. Just a lot on my mind."

 "Tell me about it?" I wait patiently for him to explain, but he doesn't. "Please?"

 He looks at me, something in his eyes changed, something I never saw before but it goes away as he laughs it off. "It's really nothing Cass. Come on we gotta get to class or you know Mr. Morris will be very upset."

I sigh at my fail of attempt to find out what's wrong. "Kay. Come on." I run down the hall and he follows me, like a dog at my heels.

~

"Hi, Mrs. Simmons," as I walk through the front door. "Is Ari home?"

 "Of course he is when isn't he? He's upstairs in his room", she barely looks up from the document on word she is typing. "By the way, are you and Ari in a fight? Because he doesn't seem to be with you as much."

I look at her, with utmost confusion. The reason Ari and I no longer seem to be together outside of school was because he told me his parents had grounded him. "He told me..." she looks up at me for a second, waiting. "He told me that he's been busy with the history project that's due sometime soon. I should go up and help him."

 "Okay, well tell him dinner will be ready in an hour or two." Soon the silent house is filled with the sound of keys being pressed upon.

"Ari?" I call out as I walk up the steps to his room. "You up here?" There's no answer as I walk down the hall and knock on his door but I hear the shuffle of feet and the sound of drawers being closed.

I push the door open and I hear Ari yell in frustration. "Wait outside, Cass!"

I stand there, the door ajar as I watch him run from drawer to drawer, trying to find something. "Lose something Ari?"

He turns around quickly, his red hair covering his eyes. "Wait. Outside!" his voice is hostile and chilling but I stand where I am.

"What's going on Ari? You lied to me the other day about being grounded and I had to lie to your mom. So seriously, what's wrong?" I yell at him. I step into the room and slam the door; I walk to him and stare him down. "I'm tired of all this, Ari. So please, just please tell me."

My eyes must have been filled with some kind of emotion, whether confusion, anger, distrust, or hurt because the next thing he says to me is, and "I'm sorry Cass. I really am. I just...I don't think you'd understand."

I step back not believing what he is saying. "I don't understand, Ari? Or you won't let me understand. You honestly believe that what you're hiding from me, I won't get if you tell me. What about everything else that's happened between us, Ari? Do you think I didn't understand that? Do you think that?" my body is shaking and it seems like my feelings are out of control.

He steps towards me and places his arm around me but I pull away. "I'm sorry."

"No, Ari. I am." I turn my back on him, like the time I did in the auditorium. "I'm sorry you don't even know me, even after all this time."

"Cassandra, wait," I stop at the way he says my name. My full first name, something he'd never done, ever. "Please don't be mad at me. I need you, I need you a lot more then you think."

"If you need me so much," I say my hand on the knob. "Then tell me why."

 "Why what?" He asks me quietly.

"Why you won't tell me. Don't tell me it's because you don't think I'd understand you know that's not true." My hand still on the knob, I turn around and look at him and see how broken he truly is.

"I can't tell you, because I'm afraid," he whispers.

"Afraid of what?" I walk towards him and wrap my arms around his body.

"Everything." And he starts to cry.

~

Written by Christina aka BeautifulWriter224 

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Copyright November 9, 2010 

All Rights Reserved.