To Be Different; Part One

To Be Different; Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The cafeteria was filled with its usual noise, students yelling and gossiping. Jocks making fun of the nerds, gangsters selling their drugs. Of course, no one got caught doing what they're doing, no teacher would care. I stood there alone, tray in hand trying to find a place to sit but instead, I walked back placed the food where it came from and walked away. It's been about a month since Ari's death. No one was really shocked, well besides me and his family. It seemed everyone was actually looking forward to his death, almost expected it. There were stories about suicides by people like Ari, 6 in the past few months. Maybe more?

I wouldn't know though, I didn't pay attention to the news, I didn't pay attention to the gossip, I don't think I paid attention at all. My thoughts wander as I walk around the room, watching couples doing what they do. Watching the single girls and boys stare at one another, hoping they'd make the first move. The Goths sit in their corner, body pierced, heavy metal blasting from their IPod. The skaters near the window staring out at the dark sky, wishing the sun would come out so it'd be nice enough for them to skate. Cheerleaders near the jocks or with their boyfriends, hands all over them and it's not like they mind at all.

The teachers though, they're nowhere in sight, which doesn't surprise me. The teachers here are either laid back, strict or neither. Some don't even care what's going on, others barely look past their daily planner. Every day is hell for me here, my parents offered to transfer me into another school and the offer still stands, but I think for Ari's sake, I should stay.

I keep walking, taking in everything, everything I didn't see before. Besides the Goths are the emo boys, the guys that wear black all the time and are silent. People say they're both the same, Goth and emo but I don't believe that. To be Goth I guess is to have piercing all over their body, pretend they don't care, and to give teachers attitude and they swear. Maybe a stereotype but I wouldn't know I'm not part of their group, not part of anyone's.

To be emo though I suppose, is to be silent and almost depressed. Dressed in only dark colors, mainly black, it's as if you're a mime or a mute, you do not speak to anyone. I catch myself staring at one in particular; he doesn't at all seem like the type to be there, sitting among them. I don't know why I see him; don't know why he sticks out to me.

Maybe it's because of how he looks is what takes me aback. Dirty blonde hair, streaked with black highlights, his tone indescribable and his eyes remind me of Ari. I feel my heart clench beneath my breast and my breath catch, when he looks at me. A smile forms on his lips but I turn away too quickly to realize he's about to walk towards me.

I hurry out the room, pushing my way through people who swear at me and make my way to the girls' bathroom. I feel the tears fall down my face without even acknowledging the fact someone else there. I ignore their question of are you okay? As I lean against the bathroom wall. The tears flow easily, as if they'd always been there, waiting for me to let them go.

The person's voice fades as I feel myself go into unconsciousness but I hear his voice, the voice I had ignored for so long...

 ~

"Ari!" I screamed in delight, making my way towards my best friend.

"Cassie", he smiles as he opens his arms to hold me tight. "I've missed you."

"Good!" I giggle, I hold onto him never wanting to let him go. "How was it?"

"Bo-ring. Without you, I couldn't even pay attention", he lets me go and stares into my blue eyes.

"You don't pay attention, period." I point out to him.

"True, but at least with you I can actually have something to focus on", he looks at me with his green eyes and there's something about the way he looks at me that bothers me.