So Close (a James Hetfield story)

Chapter 36

When he caught my gaze, he smiled encouragingly and slowly and clearly mouthed the words, "I believe in you". Warmth filled me and I looked over at Slash to begin. He nodded and then launched into the intro to Don't Cry.

I don't really remember much about the beginning of the performance, as I was seesawing between terror and pure adrenaline. Somehow I managed to keep my voice from closing up as I got out the first few verses. Then it got easier and my throat suddenly relaxed, and I was able to start giving the song my own flavor. Roberta and Duff wove their voices in and out with mine seamlessly as if we done it that way a thousand times before. By the time we hit the second verse and chorus, I was completely in control of my vocals.

During Slash's solo, he sauntered up to me and played while I gyrated inches from his guitar, as if the power of his playing had some kind of magical hold on me, and the crowd went wild at the sexy interplay. He gave me a wink before I turned back to the crowd to sing the bridge. I was fully in the zone, hitting the notes, styling the song how I wanted and not as a carbon copy of Axl's, interacting with the crowd, and moving around the stage with confidence.

The song ends on a sustained note, and I managed to get the entire stadium to sing the note along with me. The combined harmonics of so many voices at once, made the stage begin to vibrate and then the very air around us too. It was an amazing moment. When finally the note ended, the crowd roared their approval and I just stood there for a moment in awe. Finally I remembered to take a bow and thank everyone for coming to the show. Almost numb, somehow I made into the wings and into the congratulatory hugs of my band mates.    

"You were fuckin' amazing Leila!" Slash was grinning wide.

"Incredible! I told you, you could do it!" Roberta chimed in, squeezing me tight.

Everyone was talking over each other about how well we were all able to pull off such a last minute performance, but my attention was elsewhere. Scanning the backstage area, I sought out the person that was always head and shoulders taller than everyone else; this was huge for me and there was no one else I wanted to share it with than James. Looking around, I was disappointed at first to not see him, but then I saw a familiar form step into the hallway leading back down to the lower dressing rooms, and I hurried to catch up.

The overhead hall lighting was brighter than the backstage, and I had to let my eyes adjust. Blinking, I could see a lone figure walking away at steady gate. His back was to me, but I'd know him anywhere.

"Jamie!"

He stopped short and turned to look back at me, the surprise on his face easy to read, even at such a distance. I walked towards him and he matched my pace, the distance between us closing quickly until I ran the last few feet and launched myself into his arms. He caught me easily and held me tight.

"I'm so proud of you Lei," he whispered roughly against my ear as he continued to hold me.

"I...I didn't know how good it would feel Jamie," I murmured breathlessly, still amped from the performance. "But it was amazing. I can't believe I got through it."

Slowly, and almost reluctantly, he set me back on my feet. "I never had a doubt."

"Oh god," I laughed, "I sure did. All those eyeballs looking at me, expecting Axl and getting me instead, it was terrifying."

"And you won them all over."

"I didn't think I could, but by the end of the song, I think...I think I did."

Reaching out a finger, he brushed a stray lock of hair out of my eyes. "Of course they fell in love with you. How could they not?"

My breath caught at the look in his eyes and the feel of his touch against my face. We stared at each other for endless moments until the sound of voices coming down the hall broke the spell.