Big Ben Strikes The Eleventh Hour (Wholock)

Definition of 'Alien'

There was a long and a little bit worrying pause. 

"B-But I can't be an alien," John stuttered out. "H-How can I be an alien?"

The Doctor shrugged. "I don't know, but you are." He shook the device. "This Oplitfyer doesn't lie."

"But that doesn't make any sense," John told him. "My parents are human. I've been on earth my entire life. How can I be an alien?"

"Again," the Doctor replied. "I don't know, but you are."

"Does this information actually do anything for us,"Rory cut in. "I mean, why are we trying to figure this out anyway?"

"...W-Well, it could be important," the Doctor answered after pausing. "You know, in the future?"

"How would that be important though...?" Rory insisted.

"Well, you neVER KNOW, DO YOU?" the Doctor argued. Amy rolled her eyes.

"Okay, fine, now we know," she said, effectively stopping the Doctor. 

Sherlock nodded. "I believe it would be best to find out more about John's condition," he stated, looking at John, who looked like the universe had been rewritten in front of his eyes.

"Right," Amy agreed. "But I think we should get him back to 221B first, though. He isn't looking so okay."

"Hmm," the Doctor said, looking into John's face. "Well, we do have all the time in the universe, ish, so why not."

The Doctor jumped up and ran over to the control panel, and started piloting the TARDIS to hopefully 221B Baker Street. Suddenly, Amy realized something.

"Hold on, Doctor!" Amy cried. "We've been gone for months! What will Sherlock and John's neighbors and friends think?"

"Nothing, probably," Sherlock said. "I am sometimes away for long times, and most people would not be surprised if I dragged John into it."

"Okay..." Amy said, still looking worried. "Well, wait, what about my and Rory's neighbors and friends?"

"Tell them you were on a romantic getaway!" the Doctor suggested cheerfully. Amy shot him an annoyed look.

"That only works in movies, Doctor!" Amy hissed. The Doctor shrugged.

"When you don't know until you've tried!"

"Doctor, please take this seriously!"

"I am!"

"Just tell them some one from your family, they don't have to be real, was sick and you had to go take care of them," Sherlock called out. Amy looked over to him.

"Well, that might work..." she realized. Sherlock nodded.

"Of course it will," he told her. "Just make a fake email and you'll be able to fool your neighbors instantly."

"Are you sure?" Rory asked. "That sounds kind of skeptical."

"Well, would you rather tell the truth?" Sherlock asked him snootily. "And have them lock you up in a mental facility?"

Rory gulped.

"Exactly, so get off your embellished and italicized high horse and listen to my instructions," Sherlock growled. He didn't like when others doubted him. And, unfortunately, John wasn't well enough to tell him off.

Speaking of John, he was... still dead inside. Anyway, Amy took his usual place of controlling Sherlock. 

"Sherlock, stop it," Amy told him. "It isn't that good of a plan."

"That's not what you were saying five minutes ago," Sherlock argued, feeling personally attacked. Meanwhile, the Doctor had placed the TARDIS in front of 221B and was currently helping John into the apartment. Everyone else continued arguing.

"Just because you're smart, doesn't mean you get to mess around with everyone else!" Amy yelled.

"It does if everyone else is being slow," Sherlock corrected. "And, trust me, you all are incredibly slow. I honestly don't know how you get through the day with those tiny little brains of yours."

"Well, I don't know how you get through the day with that big head of yours," Amy yelled back. "What, with that big ego of yours."

"I'm afraid you are mistaken," Sherlock told her. "My head is big because of my intelligence, unlike yours."

And without missing a beat, Sherlock spun around and marched through the TARDIS doors.