Paragon ✓

XX. After Prayers, Lie Cold

Arise small body, puppet-like and pale, and go,

White as the bed-clothes into bed, and cold as snow,

Undress with small, cold fingers and put out the light,

And be alone, hush'd mortal, in the sacred night,

After Prayers, Like Cold- CS Lewis

Collapse, for Katia, was not an outward display of thrashing and violence. It was a quiet implosion, invisible and unheard from the outside world. The images she'd been able to push down as she fretted, ludicrously, over falling for Holden, blew up like a ball of fire: the man on the mountainside, tumbling down the cliff; the men she'd shot in the back, even as she was still wishing that Holden had done what he was about to do; the throat she'd stabbed without flinching, the boy she'd held in her arms as he died, his blood staining her, staining her forever. These were the scenes that blazed through her mind, burning away the remains of her sanity. And the image of Samoon, dead in his mother's arms, was the spark that lit the fuse.

When it was over, nothingness overtook everything, so that every action became automatic, and there were no words. She was in the darkness, and she could not see a way out.

She helped Bear into the helicopter, then strapped herself in to her seat. She did not look again at the village.

When they reached the compound at Gardez, they were this time showed not to a tent, but to two-person rooms in a large building, where they changed into clean clothing and showered quickly. Then they were herded directly to Manning's meeting room, where they debriefed their superiors on what had occurred, everything from the fight on the mountainside, to the attack in the village, not missing a single detail. Colton provided most of the narrative, with Kellen breaking in on several occasions, adding excited details. Track mumbled something about how he'd killed two insurgents on the mountain. When it was over, she was aware of Jackson's and Manning's eyes trained solely on her. The way they'd spun the story, it was her actions that had been the bravest, the most reckless, and the most necessary to survival. She knew they were doing this for her benefit; to make her seem a useful addition to the team. She genuinely did not care.

"Is this true?" Manning asked her. "Did you run through enemy fire to take out their rocket launcher?"

She lifted her eyes to him, but said nothing.

"She doesn't speak much," Jackson said. "It's nothing personal."

Actually, it is, Katia thought.

"It is true," Martin spoke for her. "Her bravery saved us on the mountainside, and she was the one who warned us against the insurgents in the village. She used herself as bait to give Omega-one and the Kappas a good shot, and then she took out most of the rest."

Katia blinked, wondering why Martin was embellishing her insufficient efforts.

"Regardless, all of this does not detract from our original mission. We've had a setback, losing ten of our best men," Jackson said to Manning. "We're able to bring in twelve replacements who will be arriving with King in the next two days. We hope to strike in three days time."

"Don't bother," Manning cut him short. "We've already contracted an elite team from Alectron Corporation. You may keep your elite team on the mission, but you'll have to work with them."

Jackson frowned. It was the most emotion Katia had ever seen from him. "Do you have profiles on the contractors?"

Manning shoved a portfolio across the table, and Jackson flipped through it quickly. He stared in confusion. "Exeter will be there as well?"