"Class what do you want in the future?"
That's the question that our adviser in grade 10 asked us. My mind was spacing out that time but her question caught my attention.
Ano nga bang gusto ko?
One of my classmates raised a hand. "Gusto ko pong maging teacher"
While the others said, "Gusto ko pong maging engineer"
"Gusto kong maging architect, Ma'am"
"Gusto ko pong maging politiko, Ma'am"
"Gusto ko pong yumaman"
"Gusto kong maging Chef"
"Gusto ko pong maging doctor"
"Ako gusto kong maging piloto"
Napaisip ako, kapag ba sinabi ko kung anong gusto ko ngayon mangyayari ba yun?
I tilted my head.
I don't think so.
Bakit ba nila nasasabi na yun ang gusto nila? Dahil gusto lang nila? Dahil nakikita nila sa kung saan? Dahil nakikigaya sila?
I sighed. Ako? Ano bang gusto ko?
Maging engineer? Nah. That's impossible. I'm not even fond of math!
Teacher? No way. I can't even teach myself.
Architect? No. I'm not good in drawing.
Chef? No. No. No. I can't even open the gas stove!
Manood ng Marvel Movies?
I laughed at my own thought. Seriously?
What do I really want?
I suddenly remember my twin brother. I can still remember how he always tell me how much he want to save souls. How much he want to save lost souls. How much he want to be like 'His' disciples. How much he want to save the souls of those people who's fighting for their life. Those people who's faith is fading.
Pero sadyang mapaglaro ang buhay. Dahil hindi pa kami nakakagraduate ng high school, hindi pa niya natutupad ang pangarap niyang magligtas ng kaluluwa ay kinuha na siya agad sakin ng mundo. Kinuha na siya sakin ng mundong pinangakuan niyang isasalba niya.
Buti pa ang mundo kaya niyang isalba. Pero ang sarili niya, hindi.
Hindi niya naisalba ang buhay niyang nakikipaglaban na kay kamatayan simula ng masilayan naming dalawa ang mundong ito. Hindi naisalba ng kapatid ko ang sariling buhay niya. Habang abala siya sa pagsasalba ng ibang tao, unti unti namang bumibigay ang katawan niya. At habang bumibigay ang katawan niya ay kasabay nun ang pagbigay ng kapit ng kaluluwa kong akala ko ay matibay na. Ngunit hindi pala. Dahil natibag ang kapit ko ng lisanin ng kapatid ko ang mundong ito.
Napaisip ako. Paano na lang kung.........
Paano kung ang mga katulad ng kapatid ko ay kaya ko palang iligtas?
What if I can fulfill his dreams? What if I can save those souls? What if I can save those people who are about to lose their grip to faith? What if I can let them see the world and strengthen their faith?
What if I can save them?
"Ybarra", my teacher called out. "How about you? What do you want in the future?"
I sighed. What do I really want?
After some minutes, I got up from my seat and answered,
"I want to save them."
