Tough Love

Chapter Ninety

I nod slightly. I don't like the thought of going back to those memories by choice. I try to keep my conscious mind as far away from those as possible. What my subconscious mind does is something completely different, but that's not by my choice.

“I'm sorry I have to ask you to do this, baby. I really am sorry. I really want to catch these guys and punish them, but I need your help to do that. I'd actually like to kill them, but I know I'm not legally allowed to do that...”

“It's ok, sir.”

It's not really ok, but I know it's a difficult situation for him to be in. This has all passed the point of me being able to hide it and keep everything a secret. Maybe the whole precinct doesn't need to know, but our Captain does. If it were up to me, I'd just leave it all alone, but we can't do that now. These people got to me once; and they'll try again if we can't stop them. I don't want Eli, his family or Ash to get hurt in the process. So I have to try to be brave and help as much as I can.

I whisper, “I'll think about it.”

Those particular memories are clouded by a drug haze, as well as pain from a severe beating beforehand, and they'll take a bit of time to remember properly. That's if I can even remember them at all. That'll be a novelty for me – not remembering something. I don't really sleep that night, I spend most of the time trying to fight back the bad memories and focus on the time when I came to beside that dumpster.

By the time the morning light is shining through, I have a headache and my eyes are stinging, but I'm not any closer to remembering.

Eli groans as he stretches, which makes me jump because I'm not expecting it.

Eli's voice is husky with sleep when he speaks, “Dani? Everything ok? You don't look so good.”

“Tired.”

“You didn't sleep, huh?”

I don't answer. He doesn't need me to respond. Besides, it doesn't seem like the polite thing to do.

“I'm sorry sweetheart. I didn't mean to do that. I shouldn't have brought it up last night.”

“I was trying to remember. I can't, Eli. It's just a big haze. I'm sorry.”

“Hey, there's no need to get upset. Don't stress about it, baby. I know you're trying to help, but I don't want it to upset you unnecessarily. Maybe it'll come to you if you relax a bit. No one is expecting you to remember it straight away. The Cap knows it was a long time ago. He knows that you weren't in a great state. He's not expecting you magic up an answer straight away. All he wants is for you to try, that's all. If you still don't have any information, then we'll cross that bridge later. Please don't get upset. Ok?”

“Yes sir.”

“I'm going to get dressed up and go help my ma with breakfast. You should try to get some sleep. I'll come and let you know when breakfast is ready.”

I nod and briefly shut my stinging eyes. When I open them again, Eli is sitting up, watching me. I suddenly feel very self conscious and I'm sure the blush on my cheeks lets him know that.

I manage to whisper, “Do I have something on my face, sir?”

“No. Just... Never mind. Get some sleep, sweetheart.”

Before I know what's happening, he places a kiss on my forehead and another on the tip of my nose. I suck in a sharp breath, not knowing quite how to react to that. I remind myself that this is Eli - my Eli - and he's not going to hurt me. If he's shocked by his own actions, he doesn't show it. He simply shoots me a wink and a boyish grin as he says, “Have some good dreams now.”