When It Snowed

Chapter 45 - The Man Who Held the Pen

Taking in the world through her own eyes was not something that Finley was ready to do on her own yet. She wanted to see New York, she wanted to see what had happened to the bar, she wanted to go to the graves of those she lost so long ago. Finley wanted to see what was made of her old life.

Inside however, she knew that she wasn't ready. The world wasn't ready to see her just yet. She needed to be prepared, just as she was for everything else. Until that time would come though, she needed to be a part of the small society that was going on within the Avenger's tower. It brought her heart back to life, only to tear it apart again, seeing how badly she had hurt the Avengers. They were a strong team, a group of individuals that were brought together to make a positive difference in the world and that is just what they did up until she came back. All she did was cause problems. The members of the team, they would cast one another awkward glances that held nothing but second guesses and questions. It was because of her, they were a good team until she came along.

Finley ruined the one good thing that Bucky and Steve had in this world after she left. It was a selfish move, but it was a move that she was not aware that she was making. As for now, Finley leaned against the bathroom counter once more in the clothes that Pepper and Natasha had gone and purchased her. They were nothing that she every would have picked out for herself. To be honest, Finley didn't know if she would be able to choose anything for herself anymore. The past seventy years, that was always done for her. She didn't have a choice in what she did or who she interacted with.

This was her first step towards true freedom.

To be the part, she had to look the part. There was nothing she could do about what they made her into, the metal arm that burned itself into her skin. There was no getting rid of it, and Finley didn't have any other choice but to be okay with it. At least now, the device belonged to that of Wakanda, not the people who tortured her every day while installing it. The city was a pure place with the best intentions, a city that her and Bucky had sworn to keep a secret.

It made her wonder what other secrets lay on this Earth that she didn't know about. But based on the attack of Loki so many years ago that Bucky had told her about, she wondered what lay outside the realms of Earth as well. Never in a million years would have 1940s Finley given a thought to life outside of their world.

She was too focused on the life flying by around her.

In the mirror before her, all Finley saw was Hydra. They changed her appearance and everything she stood for the first chance and in any way that they could. So, in this moment in time, she knew that she needed to take her first step into regaining her own identity back; and there was only one person in this tower that she knew could help her do just that.

"Buck." She grumbled through the open bathroom door. From the bed, the man adjusted himself from his laying position to sit at the edge and look into the bathroom. His stare was comforting now. Before, she didn't like people looking at her. But now, any second that he had his eyes on her she appreciated. "What's wrong?" he asked curiously looking at the expression on her face.

She looked confused to him, there was something on her mind, something that she needed to do. He knew that look anywhere, it didn't matter how hard she tried to hide it from him. When there was something on Finley's mind, it was on her face, and it wouldn't leave until she accomplished that goal. "I uhm-" She swallowed and looked at her reflection again. "I need-" Then, with a lick of her lips, she dropped her head and let out a sigh. "Can you go get Romanoff?"

This immediately took Bucky off guard. The two master assassins weren't close, they barely even spoke. So, the fact that Finely wanted her? It made no sense to Bucky. But again, the look on Finley's face said it all. She needed her. So, rising from the bed, Bucky let out a breath and nodded. "Yeah. Hold on."